Greetings and Salutations. The Robert Ferringo Christmas Parade - sponsored by Daddy Jack and Jesus - was a rousing success in New York this past weekend. I trust that all of you had an equally satisfying break from Reality and enjoyed some quality time with the family. Excuse me if I'm a bit scattered (and late) with my report, but I've been on a 96-hour bender, and things are still a bit fuzzy.

While most people were enjoying some nog, discussing interest rates and weather patterns with the extended family, I spent a fair portion of my holiday ranting and raving my way through a crucial weekend of football. Let me tell you, nothing scares the nieces and the grandparents like a gambling addict slamming Morgan's-and-gingers and screaming about pushes and playoff tiebreakers and roving middle linebackers during a frantic overtime game between Atlanta and Tampa Bay. It's every man for themselves at moments like those, and not everyone made it out unscathed.

But that's enough of that. It was an outstanding break, and I think the best present I received was another win for my beloved Chicago Bears. They locked up the No. 2 seed in the NFC, have finally found some offensive continuity and are a mere two games from the Super Bowl.

Anyway, I need to lie down and sleep for about 42 straight hours. New Year's Eve is lurking, and the binge of drinking and gambling that will accompany it will be an endurance trial akin to some Loma ritual in the outskirts of Guinea. Without further ado, here are some random thoughts about Week 16:

-- It's one thing to say that this was a weird and unpredictable weekend in the National Football League, but another thing entirely to back it up with quantitative data. Here goes.

Entering Week 16, in the 111 games that weren't tied at halftime the team that was leading held on to win 91 times (82 percent). In those 111 contests, teams that trailed by less than seven points only came back to win 38 times (35 percent). Essentially, if you were losing at halftime you were toast.

In Week 16, the team ahead at halftime won just 10 of the 16 games (62 percent). Also, teams that trailed by less than seven actually finished with a winning record (6-4; 60 percent). That's what we call a statistical anomaly, and those types of violent and chaotic swings are enough to make grown men weep.

-- Why is everyone frothing at the mouth about the way New England has been playing? Basically they've just been hammering terrible teams. Since their Week 7 bye, they're 7-2. Of those victories, they've beaten the Jets (3-12) twice, Buffalo (5-10) twice, and New Orleans (3-12) once. In that stretch they're just 2-2 against teams above .500.

Also, enough of the "Brady-for-MVP" talk. People say that "he kept his team afloat early in the season". If you consider going 3-3 without Tedy Bruschi, and just 6-5 before they hit their weak December schedule "afloat", then I suppose you're right. But essentially, he was a .500 quarterback. When has the MVP gone to the QB of a .500 team?

-- The New York Giants are 9-2 in games when Tiki Barber has more than 20 carries, or more than 25 total touches. They are just 1-3 when he doesn't. That one win occurred back in Week 1.

-- I think Jim Mora Jr. is a good young coach, but the guy has absolutely no concept of a coaches challenge. Though I couldn't find the stats, I recall Suzy Kolber informing him earlier this year that he has the lowest success rate of any coach in the league. He was also 0-for-2 again on Sunday, and neither one was very close.

Also, his meltdown during a postgame radio interview isn't the first altercation he's had with the media. There was the Rod Coleman Incident, as well as a few behind-the-scenes episodes that have come out. That shows a lack of discipline, and I think his players are starting to reflect their coach.

-- Here's a stat for all the Bill Cowher doubters (there's more of them than you think): Pittsburgh has won 10 or more games in nine of the last 14 seasons. Comparatively, Atlanta hasn't even managed back-to-back winning seasons in its 40-year history.

In the meantime, Pittsburgh is the AFC's hottest team. I know everyone is all over New England's junk, but the Steelers have the look of trained assassins and are peaking at the right time.

-- In the four-and-a-half games before Rex Grossman took over as Chicago's quarterback, the Bears had only converted only 10-of-58 third downs (17 percent). In the six quarters that Grossman has been under center the Bears have converted 8-of-20 third downs (40 percent). That's serious trouble for the rest of the NFC.

-- Check out the inverse relationship between the amount of passes that Jake Plummer throws and his overall quarterback rating:

Attempts 1-10: 111.4 rating
Attempts 11-20: 86.7 rating
Attempts 21-30: 68.6 rating

I think I just figured out how to beat the Broncos.

-- To the four random girls outside of Poor Richard's on Christmas Eve: I'm sorry that we pelted you with snowballs and stole your cab. That's what happens when you try to steal someone's wallet and skip out on your tab.

-- In the three years that Marvin Lewis has been Cincinnati's head coach, the Bengals record is 27-20 (.574). In the three seasons prior to his arrival their record was 12-36 (.250).

-- Remember last season when Shaun Alexander complained about finishing one yard behind Curtis Martin for the rushing title? He blamed Mike Holmgren, who chose not to give him a goal-line carry that would have put him over the top.

I bring that up because we could witness déjà vu. Alexander enters Sunday's regular season finale needing one touchdown to set a new NFL single-season record. Seattle already has home field advantage, and will likely rest its starters on Sunday in Green Bay. How long does Holmgren leave Alexander in? How actively should the coach try to help his back set the mark? What if Alexander doesn't get any goal-line opportunities? And most importantly, how will he respond if he doesn't get the record?

-- Speaking of Seattle, they may be the most overrated team in the NFL. Honestly. I mentioned in my Power Rankings last week that they have the league's weakest strength of schedule. Even after beating the Colts, they've still faced the league's softest slate (opponents winning percentage: .436).

I think that the Seahawks will be tough to beat at home. I also think that they are a squirrelly team that lacks championship pedigree, and they will choke if given the opportunity.

-- There is one room in the House of Hell that is nothing but college-aged girls having loud, mindless, droning, babbling conversations with their boyfriend/parents/girlfriends in public. I got a glimpse of it over the weekend at the airport, and if I had heard one more of those conversations I was going to give someone a suplex.

-- If they lock up a playoff berth this weekend, I think Washington is going to be a tough out. Outstanding defense. Very good running game. Playmakers on both sides of the ball. A real tough out.

-- For those people who were up in arms about Steve Smith putting his arms around the waist of an official, just watch any NBA basketball and you'll see at least half a dozen players cozy up to the refs. I'm not making a judgment one way or another, I'm just saying.

-- One of the biggest Pro Bowl snubs was Jacksonville middle linebacker Mike Peterson. The guy is just a blue-collar cruncher. He has 130 tackles and six sacks, and is the king pin in the AFC's third-best defense.

-- Willie Parker went over 1,000 rushing yards on the season. Rich and I were trying to figure out what the odds were on that one. We came up with about 600-to-1.

-- Check out this stat from Fox Sports: Cadillac Williams has either rushed for more than 100 yards or less than 30 yards in 13 of 15 games this year. Six times he went over 100, and seven times he went under 30. That type of inconsistency is a dicey proposition in the playoffs.

-- Right now the stretch sweep with Larry Johnson and the wide receiver screen to Santana Moss are the two most lethal plays in football.

-- People that open their presents on Christmas Eve are cheaters.

-- Compare these quarterbacks and tell me which one deserves to go to the Pro Bowl:

Quarterback 1: 282-for-460 (61.3 percent), 3397 yards, 22 TD, 15 INT, 86.3 rating.
Quarterback 2: 199-for-363 (54.8 percent), 2297 yards, 15-12, 74.1 rating
Quarterback 3: 253-for-429 (59 percent), 2909 yards, 22-9, 87.8 rating

As you may have guessed, the quarterbacks are (in order) Drew Bledsoe, Mike Vick and Mark Brunell. The least deserving guy is going to Honolulu. Oh, and did I mention that Vick is the only one whose team is eliminated from the playoffs?

-- My condolences to the entire Dungy family.

Questions or comments for Robert? E-mail him at robert@docsports.com

The views expressed in this article are not necessarily those of Doc's football picks service.

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