Remember Beckett's Baseball Card Price Guide? I say remember like they don't exist anymore. They do, but I haven't seen a new one since I was about 14 and realized it was more fun to go up a girl's shirt.

Anyways, what I remember most from those Beckett's was the Hot/Cold Lists. They ranked the cards by whose value was rising or falling each month. It was classic, and there was always that one guy who made both lists. Like, Will Clark would be No. 4 on the Hot List and No. 9 on the Cold List.

Why am I rambling about this? I've decided to incorporate the Hot/Cold Lists into my writing rotation for your reading pleasure. I'll try to bust one out every other week or so, so make sure you check back.

Without further ado, here's Doc's Sports' first-ever Hot/Cold Lists:

THE COLD LIST:
10) Ben Roethlisberger - I could smell fear during his interview with Rome last week. Then there was that uncomfortable, lukewarm reception at the ESPYs. I think the luster is off Big Ben, who wasn't even listed on Bodog's odds for 2006 NFL MVP.

9) Atlanta Spirit Group - A bitter internal struggle is tearing apart the owners of the Hawks and Thrashers. Both teams draw less than a movie opening the same weekend for "Pirates of the Caribbean II", and both needed a strong free agency. But a judge ruled neither team could sign contracts longer than one year until the feud was resolved.

8) Barbaro - Rumor is that Elmer's Glue has a multi-media marketing blitz planned this fall to celebrate a new product line including - I mean inspired by - the former Kentucky Derby champ.

7) Off-Field Shootings - Last year it was Jerome McDougal, Andray Blache and Sean Taylor. This year it has been Dick Cheney, Julius Hodge and Keith Davis. Ouch.

6) Indonesia - I'm not mocking the tragedy in the South Pacific, but the island of Java, wrecked by the 2004 tsunami, didn't even have an alert system. That's like rebuilding New Orleans and not repairing the levy. Give me a break.

5) Michelle Wie - Bad enough that the 16-year-old had to quit the John Deere Classic because of "heat exhaustion" (see: PMS). Now she has second-rate pros like Jeff Gove criticizing her increasingly unimpressive attempts to beat the boys.

4) Los Angeles Dodgers - They've lost eight of nine, are under .500 for the first time since mid-May, and have fallen from first place to third. Other than that, things are great.

3) Barry Bonds - Bonds is working his way into the O.J. Simpson Social Pariah Hall of Fame. He spent decades being a dick, had his head inflate once he got on steroids, and now he's facing a possible federal indictment for perjury and/or tax evasion. San Fran is in a 3-7 plunge, and Bonds may be suspended by MLB.

2) Philadelphia Sports - The Phillies suck and are headed for a fire sale. The knife is twisted in the Eagles every time T.O. pops up on ESPN. The coup de grace is the 76ers' impending trade of Allen Iverson.

1b) The ESPYs - Boring, uncomfortable and irrelevant. Comedic genius Lance Armstrong (who is a jerk) was weak. Brokeback Mountain jokes? Most presenters - yes you Lebron - could barely speak, reminding us that they may be millionaires but they barely graduated high school. Also, of all the hot sports chicks out there (Natalie Gulbis) they had to trot out Carmen Electra? There's not much tread left on that tire, if you know what I mean.

1a) The House of Representatives - Damn hypocrites. Read more at //www.docsports.com/online-gambling-bill.html

THE HOT LIST:
10) Jeff Madsen - Became youngest-ever World Series of Poker bracelet winner after taking a no-limit tourney. He tapped his college fund and borrowed money from his folks to buy in. He's now just a few bad hands away from his own Intervention episode.

9) Roger Goodell - The Daily News reported that he is close to being named the next commissioner of the NFL. You can still bet him at near even odds on some sites.

8) Late-Season Call-Ups - It's always fun to see how some bright-eyed minor leaguer can alter the balance of a pennant race after joining the Big Club. Last year it was Jeff Francoeur. This year's prospects are Steve Drew (Arizona), Chris Denorfia (Cincy), Dustin Moseley and Joe Saunders (Anaheim) and Jason Windsor (Oakland).

7) Danica Patrick - Took advantage of a slow news week to call attention to her breasts - er - career. Will be taking advantage of me next week. Oh, and she improved her bargaining position about 200 percent.

6) Chicago Bulls - Kirk Heinrich was named to the Olympic Team, Ben Wallace signed a $60 million deal and John Paxson has made a series of other subtle moves to put the Bulls in a power position for the upcoming season.

5) David Hasselhoff - He's in the movie "Switch", he's a "judge" on NBC's "America's Got Talent", and his "Jump In My Car" video is one of the most unintentionally hilarious three minutes in Internet history. Stay hot, David. Stay hot

4) Wedding Season - Open bars. Extended families. "Tons of opportunities to meet gorgeous ladies so aroused at the thought of marriage that they'll throw their inhibitions to the wind." Good times.

3) Trade Rumors - Alfonso Soriano has been "reportedly" passed around more than Tera Patrick over the last two weeks. MLB trade rumors and "hot stove" reports are dominating our National Pastime.

2) MLB Resurrections - The Angels in the American League and the Braves in the National League have been on fire. I've detailed their resurgence at: //www.docsports.com/mlb-braves-angels-win-streaks.html

1) Off-Field Shootings - Nothing says "street cred" like taking the hot lead. Bullet wounds have replaced tattoos as the must-have body accessory for any true "baller". I mean, Davis took one to the head and could've suited up the next day. That's a playa.

Questions or comments for Robert? E-mail him at robert@docsports.com or check out his Insider Page here.