Twas the Night Before Christmas (NFL/NBA Gambling Style)

by Raphael Esparza - 12/23/2016

Twas the night before Christmas when all through the house
It's late, I'm handicapping NFL/NBA so quite can't even hear a mouse.
The stockings were hung by chimney with care,
In hopes of ESPN/ABC/NBC winners soon would be there

My wife was nestled all snug in her bed,
She also vision NFL/NBA winners all through her head.
Bowl games of plenty football is here,
Even though it's late I can still hear the sports books full of cheer.

When out on the roof there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my office to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the front door, through on my Air Jordan's in a dash.  

The moon and the Luxor light was bright on the new-fallen Vegas snow
Gave the luster of midday to objects below,
Holy Crap! My wondering eyes should appear,
A fat man on my roof with eight tiny reindeer.

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,
Bet you a free week worth of picks, it must be St. Nick.
More rapid than eagles, his courses they came,
Hey fat man I asked, call them reindeer by name.

"Now Dasher! Now Dancer!
Now, Prancer and Vixen!
On, Comet! On, Cupid!
On, Donner and Blitzen!
Don't forget new reindeer, American Pharoah!
To the top of my fountain!
To the top of the wall!
Now cash away! Cash away!
Cash away all!"

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
Sounds like I'm at Del Mar, I can hear each little hoof.
As I drew in my head and it was turning around,
Down my fake fireplace St. Nick came with a pound.

He was dressed in NBA gear form head to toe
St Nick who you like today, take all the underdogs and wrap them all in a bow
A bundle full of sports gambling winners he flung on his back,
College bowl winners I'm hopping, look deep in that pack.

He was chubby and plump, a right Jolly old elf,
Wanted to laugh but sports winners he had, in spite of myself.
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head
Sports winners I will give you if you go to bed.

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
Cashing tickets needed, went straight to bed didn't want to be a jerk.
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
He gave me a future bet, 2017 Chicago Cubs, then up the chimney he rose.

He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, 'ree he drove out of sight,

"Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!"

Start:	November 22, 2024 @ 8:00 PM
Expert:	Vernon Croy
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