A. Allen Iverson. If the Sixers ever find an Answer to their current problems, it won’t come in the form of someone wearing No. 3. Iverson saw his jersey retired last Saturday, when it climbed to the rafters in between Maurice Cheeks’ No. 10 and Charles Barkley’s No. 34. The only thing less surprising than Philly retiring A.I.’s number is that it lost the ensuing game.

B. Ryan Braun. Braun went yard in his first at-bat since serving a 65-game, PED-related suspension last season. The Brewers’ much-maligned right fielder hit a blast to left off Oakland’s Tommy Milone during Spring Training action last Thursday. TopBet has Milwaukee’s “over/under” win total for the 2014 season at 80.

C. Chicago Curie. Chicago Curie Metropolitan High School, ranked No. 2 in the nation in boys’ basketball, was initially forced to forfeit its entire 24-1 season due to the use of seven ineligible players. On Monday, however, the team was found to have nine players who satisfied academic requirements. It was allowed to play in sectionals, only to promptly get upset in the first round on Tuesday. For those counting, that means the nation’s No. 2 team just finished its season 0-26.

D. Darren Sharper. Sharper is wanted in just about every single state as a serial rape suspect. He is not wanted, of course, by the NFL Network—or any other media outlet in the universe. The network canned Sharper last Friday amidst the major allegations.

E. Eight seconds. That’s how long it took Urban Meyer to commit a recruiting violation while having lunch with Tim Tebow last week. Ohio State recruit Clifton Garrett gave Meyer a call, and the head coach handed Tebow the phone for a brief (eight-second, to be exact) conversation with the potential former Buckeye. OSU is +1200 at GT Bets to win next season’s National Championship.

F. Raymond Felton. Somewhere in between the seriousness of the two aforementioned violators is Felton, who was arrested last week on gun charges. The bad news for Felton is that he is still currently playing for the Knicks. The good news for Felton is that he has a lot more important things to worry about than the Knicks. 5Dimes Sportsbook has New York as a +8.5 underdog at Minnesota on Wednesday.

G. Gravity. “Gravity” pretty much cleaned up at the Academy Awards aside from the acting and Best Picture departments, including Alfonso Cuaron snagging Best Director honors. It won seven Oscars. Not surprisingly, “Dallas Buyers Club” actors took home lead (Matthew McConaughey) and supporting (Jared Leto) awards, while “12 Years a Slave” won Best Picture.

H. Kevin Harvick. If not for Harvick, Dale Earnhardt Jr. would have parlayed his Daytona 500 triumph into another win last weekend at Phoenix International Raceway. Earnhardt Jr. finished second, but nobody could touch Harvick. The No. 4 car dominated its way to a second victory on that track in the last four months. Harvick is +975 at WagerWeb to win this week’s Kobalt Tools 400; Jimmie Johnson is a +500 favorite.

I. Richie Incognito. Incognito went all Elin Nordegren on his Ferrari last week, except he used a baseball bat instead of a golf club. Now he is seeking professional help for mental-health issues. Sounds about right. The Dolphins are +2200 to win the AFC Championship, according to Bovada Sportsbook.

J. Jimmy Graham. The Saints pinned their franchise tag on Graham last weekend. Graham wanted to be classified as a wide receiver instead of a tight end so that he would be able to make more money, but that plan was foiled by the NFL on Monday. The league ruled that the former Miami (FL) two-sport star is officially a tight end even though he often lines up at receiver. Graham won’t be happy, but don’t feel too sorry him—the dude is still going to get straight up paid.
 
K. Kissing. Apparently Andre Drummond may not be the best at it. “iCarly” actress Jennette McCurdy, whose short-lived relationship with the Detroit Pistons’ center ended last week, said their first kiss was terrible. Drummond, though, does not seem too concerned about the whole deal. He has three straight double-doubles—all with at least 17 rebounds—and he grabbed a career-high 26 boards in a Monday night win over New York. The Pistons are +3.5 home underdogs against Chicago on Wednesday, according to BookMaker.

L. Lost challenge. Major League Baseball’s first replay ended in an upheld call. On Monday, Minnesota’s Chris Rahl was ruled safe on a close play at first base before Toronto manager John Gibbons challenged umpire Fieldin Culbreth’s call. Two minutes and 34 seconds after putting on a headset to review the play, Culbreth emerged and once again called Rahl safe. The Blue Jays are +700 to win the AL East, per Bovada Sportsbook.

M. Mask. With mask in hand (or more like on face), LeBron James has been channeling his inner Jim Carrey to the tune of magical powers. Then again, it hasn’t been too unlike the same ol’ dominant LeBron. He scored 31 with a black protector, then with one of the NBA-mandated clear variety he scored 20 (in just 31 minutes) and a career-high 61, the latter on Monday in a 124-107 home win over Charlotte. LeBron is +140 at Sportsbook.ag to win league MVP; Kevin Durant is a -180 favorite.

N. Napkins. A man is suing McDonalds for $1.5 million because he was given only one napkin to go along with his quarter pounder deluxe. You can’t make this stuff up, folks. And unfortunately for the buffoon named Webster Lucas, we aren’t.

O. Oklahoma State. Cowboy up! The mercurial Cowboys lost seven games in a row from Jan. 27 to Feb. 17, the last three without suspended star Marcus Smart. Now, though, Oklahoma State has won four in a row coinciding with Smart’s return—a stretch that includes a 72-65 upset of Kansas last Saturday. Smart is averaging 18 points, 6.8 assists, and 5.8 rebounds per game in his last four. 5Dimes Sportsbook has Kansas as a -14 home favorite over Texas Tech on Wednesday.

P. Paula Patton. The actress announced her split from singer Robin Thicke on Feb. 24. Thicke seems to be taking it pretty hard, and you can’t blame him if you saw Patton at the Independent Spirit Awards last weekend. Smokeshow.

Q. Quit. That’s what the NFL has proposed to make players do when it comes to on-field use of the N-word. Not surprisingly, the possible ban is polarizing concept. At one end, Seahawks’ cornerback Richard Sherman says it is an “atrocious” idea. At the other end, chairman of the Fritz Pollard Alliance Foundation John Wooten thinks a 15-yard penalty for use of the word would not be enough and only an ejection from a game would be appropriate.

R. Roger Federer. He’s been counted out a million times, but Federer may be back. The 32-year-old Swiss, coming off a dreadful 2013 campaign by his standards, captured a title last week in Dubai and beat world No. 2 Novak Djokovic and world No. 6 Tomas Berdych in the process. BetOnline Sportsbook has Federer at +550 to win the upcoming event in Indian Wells; Novak Djokovic is a +140 favorite.

S. Buffalo Sabres. The Sabres unloaded goalie Ryan Miller in a deal last Friday night that also sent center Steve Ott to St. Louis. Just like that, Miller and Ott went from playing for the worst team in the entire NHL to suiting up for a serious Stanley Cup contender.

T. TV Teddy. When Teddy Valentine is working a nationally-televised college basketball game, he never disappoints. He needs the spotlight, and the spotlight needs him. Valentine was at his best last Saturday at Connecticut, where the Huskies beat Cincinnati 51-45. He made a possession call which Cincy coach Mick Cronin vehemently opposed, resulting in Valentine getting in Cronin’s face. Yes, the referee got in the coach’s face as opposed to vice versa. Valentine was so satisfied with his air time that he did not even bother enhancing it by giving Cronin a technical.

U. Undefeated. It has not earned them the nation’s top ranking, but Wichita State’s perfect regular season is looking more and more worthy of a No. 1 seed in the NCAA Tournament. The Shockers improved to 31-0 and 18-0 in the Missouri Valley Conference after taking care of Missouri State 68-45 at home last Saturday. They are -400 favorites to win the conference tournament, per Carbon Sports.

V. Virginia. Break up the Cavaliers! Virginia hammered Syracuse 75-56 last Saturday to clinch the regular-season ACC championship and No. 1 seed in the conference tournament. Tony Bennett’s squad is 16-1 in league play, three games clear of ‘Cuse and UNC, thanks to a 13-game winning streak. The Cavs are up to No. 5 in both the AP and coaches polls after previously registering at 12th and 11th, respectively.

W. Tiger Woods. Tiger made the cut at last weekend’s Honda Classic, but he didn’t get a paycheck for his efforts. That’s because the world No. 1 withdrew after 13 holes on Sunday, citing back spasms that also plagued him at the end of last season. He fired a 5-under 65 on Saturday, but he was 5-over for his final round before calling it quits. Tiger is +1200 to win at Doral this week, per Bovada Sportsbook.

X. Xavier. Xavier enjoyed the largest home crowd in its current stadium’s 14-year-history last Saturday, and it treated the home fans to a 75-69 win over then-AP No. 9 Creighton. Junior guard Justin Martin scored 19 points and grabbed a career-high 16 rebounds in the victory. Success, however, was short-lived for the Musketeers. They promptly lost 71-62 at Seton Hall on Monday.

Y. Yaya Toure. Yaya equalized Sunday’s match against Sunderland at Wembley Stadium in the 55th minute, sending Manchester City on its way to a Capital One Cup championship victory. Samir Nasri added a goal one minute later for a 2-1 advantage before Jesus Navas scored the clincher in the 90th minute as the Sky Blues prevailed 3-1. BookMaker has Man City as a -120 favorite to win the FA Cup and a +185 second choice to win the English Premier League.

Z. Henrik Zetterberg. A fragmented disk in Zetterberg’s back will likely keep him out for the remainder of the regular season. The Red Wings’ forward played in one game for Sweden at the Sochi Olympics before the injury—with which he was already dealing—became too problematic. Zetterberg had surgery late last month and will be sidelined for about eight weeks. Detroit is +1600 at Bovada Sportsbook to win the Eastern Conference.

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