A. Andrelton Simmons. The Braves aren’t getting anyone else’s players, but they are signing their own at an alarming rate. Jason Heyward, Freddie Freeman, Julio Teheran, Craig Kimbrel…. Most recently Atlanta extended Simmons with a seven-year, $58 million deal. The shortstop hit 17 homers last season, scored 76 runs, and won a National League Gold Glove Award. The Braves are +125 to win the NL East, according to Bovada Sportsbook.

B. Broken nose. That is what sidelined LeBron from Miami’s home win over Chicago on Sunday. Of course, Serge Ibaka likely came out worse—on a poster, to be exact—from last week’s collision during a Heat victory against Oklahoma State. LeBron, who has scored at least 33 points in each of his last four games, should be good to go for a home date with New York on Thursday. Miami is a -9 favorite at Carbon Sports.

C. Canada. Canada proved to be the United States’ Waterloo at the Sochi Olympics, at least toward the end. At the Sanki Sliding Center, the Canadians’ two-women bobsled team overcame a big deficit on its fourth run to stun the American team by one-tenth of a second and capture gold. On the ice, of course, Team USA’s women snatched defeat from the jaws of victory after blowing a 2-0 lead in the final four minutes. As for the men, their downward spiral in the two medal-round games began with a 1-0 loss to eventual champion Canada. 5Dimes Sportsbook has Sidney Crosby’s Penguins as -200 home favorites over Montreal on Thursday.

D. Dale Earnhardt Jr. Ten years after his first triumph, Junior is a two-time champion of the Daytona 500. Not even a six-hour rain delay could stop Earnhardt, who returned at night with what was clearly the best car on the track before holding off other contenders like Denny Hamlin, Jeff Gordon, Brad Keselowski, and Jimmie Johnson. Earnhardt is +1000 at TopBet to win the Sprint Cup title; Johnson is a +225 favorite.

E. Emilio Parks. Parks is Johnson C. Smith’s star player, but he did not bother dressing out for last Friday’s “game.” Why not? He had already fouled out. A contest against Winston-Salem State started on Wednesday but was halted at 76-76 with 0.3 seconds left in regulation when a full-court heave by Joshua Linson of Johnson C. Smith shattered two ceiling lights. It resumed two days later (Winston-Salem State had the option of choosing either a coin toss or making a 90-minute return trip), and Johnson C. Smith prevailed 89-86 in overtime.

F. Florida. The Gators are No. 1 in the nation thanks to a 20-game winning streak and to Syracuse’s two-game skid. It is the first time they have been on top of the AP poll since their 2007 National Championship. Florida is a +500 favorite to win the National Championship, according to Carbon Sports.

G. Sergio Garcia. Garcia conceded an 18-foot put to Rickie Fowler in their third-round showdown at last week’s match-play championship. That’s right; eighteen feet. The Spaniard felt bad for having taken an extraordinarily long time to hit a shot on the previous hole. It ended up being a critical gesture, because—wouldn’t you know it—Garcia ended up losing to Fowler by one hole.

H. Jim Harbaugh. How close was Harbaugh to leaving for Cleveland? Probably not that close, but there is no doubt the Browns were willing to dish out a whole lot of draft picks in their efforts to snag a marquee head coach. One other certainty: Harbaugh’s relationship with San Francisco’s front office is rocky at best.

I. Instructor Bonds. Bonds is set to join the San Francisco Giants in the second week of March as a spring training instructor. Current Giants’ players have expressed excitement over the prospect of working with Bonds. Yeah, they could probably learn a few things from him, not all of which have to do directly with playing baseball! San Fran is +1200 at BookMaker to win the National League Pennant.

J. Justin Bieber. The semifinal showdown between Canada and the United States was touted as a “loser keeps Bieber” scenario. Perhaps it was, because Atlanta appears to be on its way to keeping Bieber for the foreseeable future. The much-maligned pop star is eyeing a $10.9 million mansion to rent for the summer.
 
K. Jason Kidd. The Brooklyn Nets announced the NBA’s first signing of an openly gay player via Twitter. Their feed showed head coach Jason Kidd looking on as Jason Collins put pen to paper. Collins is averaging nine minutes per game in two appearances with New Jersey. Brooklyn is +3300 at Bovada Sportsbook to win the Eastern Conference.

L. “Late Night with Seth Meyers”. Exit Jimmy Fallon (to bigger and better things); enter Seth Meyers. Meyers had plenty of help for his debut show on Monday, as “Saturday Night Live” teammate Amy Poehler and Vice President Joe Biden made for a dynamic duo as guests.

M. Meat Market. It’s always good when some extracurricular news comes from the Combine as opposed to the usual he ran this or he ran that in the 40. It happened this time around when fellow defensive end Dee Ford said Jadeveon Clowney “plays like a blind dog in a meat market.” If that’s the case and I’m picking No. 1 overall, I want a blind dog in a meat market.

N. Nelson Cruz. The Baltimore Orioles’ offseason shopping continued last Saturday when they signed Cruz to a one-year, $8 million deal. That contract suggests the O’s think he is somewhere between a steroids Cruz and a steroids-less Cruz. WagerWeb has Baltimore at +1200 to win the American League Pennant.

O. Syracuse Orange. ‘Cuse has played five straight thrillers. It hit a buzzer-beater at Pittsburgh, beat N.C. State by one, lost to Boston College in overtime, fell at Duke in memorable fashion, and won at Maryland by two. The highlight of that stretch, obviously, was Jim Boeheim’s epic meltdown at Cameron Indoor Stadium.

P. Richard Petty. Tony Stewart challenged Petty to go head-to-head with Danica Patrick after the NASCAR legend said Patrick will never win a Sprint Cup race. Petty, a seven-time Daytona 500 champion who says he has not been in a race car in 25 years, insisted he would strap back in to accept such a challenge.

Q. Quarterbacks. Blake Bortles arguably had the best combine of the top quarterbacks in the 2014 NFL Draft class. Johnny Manziel was solid, although Ron Jaworski says he would not take Manziel before the fourth round. Teddy Bridgewater did not do much, except to say, “I’m the best quarterback in the draft.” The Texans, who have the No. 1 pick, are +3500 at Sportsbook.ag to win the Super Bowl.

R. Rattlesnake. Jamie Coots, the pastor of a snake-handling church in Middlesboro, Ky., died from a rattlesnake bite after refusing medical treatment. His son, Cody Coots, has already taken over as pastor and—of course—will continue the snake-handling practice. Welp, good luck to Cody.

S. Saban Rule. That’s what South Carolina head coach Steve Spurrier has dubbed a new proposal that would prevent teams from snapping the ball prior to 10 seconds running off the play clock. Alabama head coach Nick Saban is a longtime opponent of the hurry-up offense, although he is claiming that safety is the reason why is supporting the proposed change. Bogus. Alabama is +500 at BetOnline Sportsbook to win next season’s National Championship.

T. Twitter threat. Some 19-year-old clown named John Giamella threatened the life of Knicks’ owner James Dolan on Twitter. For his efforts, Giamella was arrested last Friday and charged with harassment. Dolan may be one of the worst owners in sports and the Knicks are terrible, but he is certainly no worse than a teenager who allegedly posted a photo of himself naked and wielding a gun.

U. UNC. The Tar Heels are the first team to beat every one of the top four in the AP’s preseason men’s college basketball rankings during one season. They completed that feat last Thursday with their most important scalp of all in a 74-66 win over arch-rival Duke. North Carolina extended its winning streak to nine with a 105-72 destruction of Wake Forest last Saturday and to 10 with an overtime win at N.C. State on Wednesday.

V. Victor Dubuisson. The little-know, 23-year-old Frenchman made a name for himself—despite not winning—on Sunday at the WGC-Accenture Match Play Championship. He came back from two down with two to play in the final against Jason Day before making two miraculous par saves out of the desert to force a third extra hole. Day finally won with a birdie to Dubuisson’s par on the 23rd, but the real story was Dubuisson and his Seve Ballesteros-esque scrambling out of cacti, rocks, trees, and other impediments. Sportsbook has Day at +2000 to win the Masters.

W. Metta World Peace. The Knicks do not believe in World Peace. As a result, World Peace may be coming to the Heat, Spurs, or Thunder in the near future. New York waived the 15-year veteran earlier this week, and he hopes to latch on with a top contender for the stretch run and the playoffs.

X. Denotes clinched conference. Wichita State clinched the regular-season Missouri Valley Conference title last Saturday with a home blowout of Drake. The Shockers cut down the nets afterward. That’s cool if you’re into that sort of thing, but 30-0 and second-ranked Wichita State is good enough to concern itself only with far more important accomplishments. Davidson is among the teams that can clinch on Thursday (Southern Conference). The Wildcats are -16 home favorites against UNC-Greensboro, per TopBet.

Y. New York Yankees. Yankee haters have not enjoyed a great offseason. The Bronx Bombers will dominate headlines even more than usual in 2014 due to Derek Jeter’s retirement tour. They have also been busy in the front office, with Brett Gardner their most recent signing. Gardner was extended four years with a $52 million deal on Sunday. It must be nice to have the funds to make that kind of pitch to a backup center fielder.

Z. Zack Greinke. Greinke does not want to venture Down Under. The Dodgers’ right-hander said he has “zero excitement” for a season-opening two-game series against Arizona, to be played in Sydney a week before the rest of the Major League Baseball schedule begins. L.A. is a +500 favorite at GT Bets to win the World Series.

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