A. Dr. James Andrews. The three most dreaded words in sports: “Doctor. James. Andrews.” Boston pitcher Clay Buchholz paid a visit to the good doctor earlier this week, and—amazingly enough—did not receive the proverbial death penalty. No Tommy John surgery will be necessary, but Andrews also said that missing the rest of the season was a possibility, and there is no timetable for Buchholz’s return. The Red Sox are +800 at Sportsbook.ag to win the World Series.

B. Biogenesis. The first domino has fallen. Who will be next after Ryan Braun?

C. Cheetah. Chris Johnson of the Titans and Chicago’s Devin Hester raced a cheetah for a Nat Geo Wild show that will air in November. Don’t hold your breath for four months before finding out the result. Hint: they raced a cheetah.

D. Dwyane Wade. This is not a joke; this is real: Cameo Nightclub in Miami is suing comedian Kevin Hart because Hart went to hang out with Wade. Yep, Hart was supposedly set to host a party at Cameo on the night of June 22 but instead bailed to run the show at nearby Dream Nightclub, where Wade was stationed. Cameo claims it spent $4,680 to promote Hart’s gig and is suing for $15,000—more than three times the amount to compensate for a damaged reputation. The reputation repairs may cost a lot more than that after this suing escapade!

E. Ended. As in, the career of Ohio State running back Carlos Hyde? We’ll see. Hyde has been suspended for his alleged involvement in an assault case stemming from an incident last weekend in Columbus. Various reports said he got the boot entirely, but it has since been confirmed that he is suspended pending the outcome of the investigation. At least he did not something as bad as make a legal football tackle, like—for example—Jadaveon Clowney did last season. The Buckeyes are +700 at Bovada Sportsbook to win the BCS National Championship.

F. Firesale. Well, it’s not exactly a firesale of Marlins-esque proportions, but the Cubs are losers once again this season, and to say they are trade-deadline sellers instead of buyers would be an understatement. Already gone is Matt Garza, who was shipped to Texas on Monday. Now Chicago is talks involving Alfonso Soriano, reportedly with the Yankees. The Rangers are +615 at BetOnline Sportsbook to win the AL Pennant.

G. Gerardo Martino. Tito Vilanova is out as the manager of FC Barcelona. Martino—not exactly a big name even in the soccer world—is in. Of course, when you coach a team that boasts Lionel Messi and Neymar, you can do little more than sit on your hands for a few games and watch yourself become a legend. Martino is also an Argentine, so that should appease Messi.

H. Hot seat. Jerry Jones said last weekend that Cowboys’ head coach Jason Garrett is not on the hot seat. Translation: “Jason Garrett is on the hot seat.” Dallas is +2900 at BookMaker to win the Super Bowl.

I. Internet. Ah, the Internet is a glorious place…unless you’re Anthony Weiner. The former congressman is apparently up to his old tricks; the same tricks that forced him to resign from his post in 2011. Now he is being accused of “sexting” with a 22-year-old. As a result, pressure is mounting on Weiner to quit the New York City mayoral race. But did Brett Favre quit on the Jets after sending pictures of his…well, Weiner…to Jenn Sterger? Actually, yes. Yes he did.

J. J-Hey. Rarely in baseball does the outcome of a game hinge on one single play. It’s not like in football, when a win or a loss frequently comes down simply to the make or miss of a last-second field goal. But that’s essentially what happened in Monday’s Braves-Mets game. If Jason Heyward makes the catch with two outs in the ninth and Atlanta leading 2-1, his team wins. If he doesn’t, New York prevails. And, as anyone who watched #SCTop10 on either Monday or Tuesday knows, he made it. The Braves are -500 favorites at Sportsbook.ag to win the NL East.
 
K. Matt Kemp. The 2011 runner-up in the MVP voting says Braun should be stripped of the award. Agree or disagree?

L. LeBron. Best Championship Performance. Best NBA Player. Best Male Athlete. Best Team. Presented the Arthur Ashe Courage Award to Robin Roberts. Yes, the ESPYs were LeBron’s world, and everyone else was just living in it. Will the NBA be Miami’s world for a third straight time next season? The Heat are +280 favorites at Sportsbook.ag to win the 2014 NBA title.

M. Melky Cabrera. Braun went the Lance Armstrong route in his attempted cover-up. Maybe he should have tried the Melky method. Hopefully everyone remembers that, because that was epic. To make a long story short, Cabrera—and/or his associates—bought a website and threw up fake ads for a product that may have resulted in his positive test. Legendary.

N. Nate Robinson. Averaging 16.1 points in the playoffs was not enough for the Bulls, who will not bring back “Nate the Great”. Instead, Robinson signed a free-agent contract with Denver earlier this week. The deal is for two years and $4.1 million. Steal.

O. Ogre. What would NASCAR be without one driver calling another driver, “the biggest stupid idiot out here” and “a big ogre”??? Not as awesome, to be sure. That’s the gem Kyle Busch bestowed upon Ryan Newman after a wreck last weekend in New Hampshire. Busch is +700 (second choice behind Jimmie Johnson) at BookMaker to win this weekend’s Crown Royal 400.

P. Phil. Mickelson was simply dominant on Sunday at Muirfield, carding a five-under 66 to come back from a five-shot deficit and win the British Open by three strokes. Even without massive choking by the leaders like we often see at the Open Championship (here’s looking at you, Jean Van De Velde and Adam Scott!), Lefty still won easily. Now, if he ever wins the U.S. Open, it will complete a career Grand Slam. Mickelson is +1200 at Sportsbook to win the PGA Championship.

Q. Quagmire. If you were offered the chance to be on the cover of “Sports Illustrated,” would you take it? On one hand, it’s freaking “Sports Illustrated”. On the other hand, this SI jinx may be the real thing. Latest victim: Pirates’ closer Jason Grilli. Grilli has 30 saves, a sporty 2.34 E.R.A., and 66 strikeouts in 42.1 innings. After gracing the SI cover, however, he promptly gave up two runs in two-thirds of an inning on Monday and was placed on the 15-day DL with a forearm strain.

R. Royal Baby. Who knows why it takes so long to think of a baby name. After all, you have nine months—or in Kate Middleton’s case, almost 10 months—to think about it. But William and Kate’s son probably isn’t complaining. After all, until he has a name, he can only be called “Royal Baby.” Badass.

S. Shutouts. In three of his four starts this month, Tampa Bay ace Matt Moore has not allowed a single run. He saved his best of the year for Monday when he tossed his first 2013 complete game while allowing just two hits and one walk against the Red Sox. Moore’s E.R.A. has plunged to 3.17, his lowest mark since June 4 and almost a full run lower than it was on June 20 (4.13). The Rays are +550 at WagerWeb to win the AL Pennant.

T. Tiger. Tiger Woods has 14 majors. In a grand total of zero of them he has come from behind on Sunday. He was in position to accomplish the feat for the first time at Muirfield, trailing Lee Westwood by just two shots heading into the final round, but Tiger once again fired himself out of contention early and often. The world No. 1 has not won a slam since the 2008 U.S. Open. Sportsbook.ag has him at +500 to win the PGA Championship and +300 to win the FedEx Cup.

U. USMNT. The U.S. men’s national team is taking care of business on the pitch these days. Landon Donovan and company are virtually certain to qualify for the 2014 World Cup, and they rolled into the Gold Cup semifinals by dominating El Salvador 5-1 on Sunday. To be fair, the competition is not what it will be next summer in Rio. But, hey, by U.S. soccer standards, all wins are good wins.

V. Von Miller. The Broncos’ linebacker has been hit with a four-game suspension for violating the league’s substance-abuse policy. Naturally, Miller is not only appealing but also taking to Twitter to proclaim his innocence. He wrote: “Seeing reports abt 4 game susp. I know I did nothing wrong. I'm sure this'll be resolved fairly. Disapp. Broncos have 2 open camp like this.” That’s not exactly Braun-type defiance, but it’s still amusing. Sure, Von. Sure. Denver is +600 at Bovada Sportsbook to win the Super Bowl.

W. Washington. The Atlanta Braves have lost 10 of their last 17 games, and they have still gained ground in the NL East during that span. Does anything else really to be said about the Nationals? Not really. But it will be said anyway. They have lost five in a row to begin the second half, eight of their last nine, and 10 of their last 12.

X. XII. The Big 12 is getting a new logo. It’s actually pretty decent. Google it. Still, it won’t be enough to ease the conference higher-ups’ pain of watching Texas A&M play in the SEC.

Y. Yu Darvish. In two of Darvish’s last three starts, he has not allowed a single run while working at least 6.1 innings in each appearance. Granted, his Monday outing came against the Yankees, but that’s still not too shabby. Let’s hope he puts up a goose-egg in the hit column sometime soon just so media outlets will fight to come up with the best “Yu” headline like they did when he flirted with perfection in his first start of the season. Texas is +1600 at BetOnline Sportsbook to win the World Series.

Z. Jordan Zimmermann. MLB’s online shop was selling all-star jerseys with “Zimmerman” on the back. On one hand, that’s somewhat excusable since the guy isn’t from Germany and should not be spelling his name as “Zimmermann.” On the other hand, he was an all-star for crying out loud, and he should not have his name butchered by the league’s official website. As for Zimmermann’s on-field exploits, his first start after the break—on Sunday against the Dodgers—lasted just two innings while featuring eight hits, two jacks, and seven earned runs.

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