A – Alameda Ta’amu. Steelers fourth-round draft pick, Alameda Ta’amu finally made a name for himself this season. The 6-foot-3, 350-pound lush did so by celebrating the Steelers 26-23 loss at Tennessee by getting hammered drunk in the famed South Side of Pittsburgh, driving his Lincoln Navigator into four parked cars, attempting to run down police offers who had their guns drawn on him, getting out of the car, taking off his shirt, running from cops, getting tackled, punched and handcuffed by those same cops, and spending a night in the big house. Ta’amu has somehow only been suspended two games for his epic drunken meltdown.

B – Bronx Broads. After being benched in Game 2 of the ALCS, Alex Rodriguez was still trying to score. Witnesses eyed ARod chatting up a few broads who were maybe a 5 or a 6 on a good day. According to the New York Post, Rodriguez attached a note to a baseball asking for the girls’ number and tossed it to them. The women obliged and tossed the ball back, making this the first time Rodriguez did not strike out in the playoffs.

C – Chevy Caprice. While the New York Giants were on the road in San Francisco, burglars snuck into the team's parking lot back in East Rutherford and broke into a number of vehicles around 4 a.m. The burglars even drove off with a car, defensive tackle Marvin Austin's 1996 Chevy Caprice. This begs three questions, why the hell is an NFL player driving a '96 Caprice, why the hell is that the car the robbers chose to steal, and where was Vince Young during all of this?

D – Doug Gottlieb. Former ESPN blowhard Doug Gottlieb has a new CBS radio show "Lead Off" that will debut Oct. 22. Gottlieb's rumored cohosts for the show were black dudes Jason Whitlock and Bomani Jones, but the show instead went with white boobs and signed on former 2005 Miss Teen USA Allie LaForce. Too bad this is a radio show.

E – Eric Decker. The token white Peyton Manning receiver, Eric Decker, apparently has a big dick according to his fiancé. With an open field in front of him just yards away from the endzone, Decker tripped and fell on his face during “Monday Night Football”. Via Twitter, Decker's fiancé, country singer Jessie James, blamed the fall on his "third leg."

F – Forty Niner Fans. Before the 49ers game against the New York Giants on Sunday, a 49ers fan stabbed a fan wearing a Cowboys (yes Cowboys) jersey. The 49er fan then tried to stab the friends of the Cowboys fan. Living next to Oakland Raiders fans all these years is finally starting to rub off on San Francisco fans.

G – Giambi, Jason. Somehow Jason Giambi is getting a chance to interview for the vacant Colorado Rockies managerial position. He should be pegged as a +100,000 long shot behind anybody with a pulse. Giambi introduced teammates to steroids and also a gold thong that was worn to help players break out of a slump. Let's pray Giambi gets this job just for the mere comedic effect.

H – Houston defense. Aaron Rodgers single-handily decided millions of fantasy football matchups on “Sunday Night Football” with his six-touchdown barrage against a Houston Texans defense that had only allowed six total passing touchdowns all season.

I – Ian Rapoport. NFL Network rookie sideline reporter Ian Rapoport was on the sideline before the Packers/Texans “Sunday Night Football” game when he was drilled in the face on live TV by an errant football. Rapoport's reaction made you think he just got blasted with a shotgun.

J – Jackson Jeffcoat. Looks like it will be a long season for the Longhorns. After a tough home loss to West Virginia last Saturday, Texas was embarrassed Saturday afternoon in the Red River Rivarly, 63-21, against Oklahoma. Now comes news that Jackson Jeffcoat, probably the only guy on Texas who knows how to play defense, is out of for the season with a torn right pectoral muscle.

K – Kansas. The Kansas basketball team got a jump on the Gangnam Style Halloween costume crush when they debuted their Gangnam Style threads during Midnight Madness complete with white jackets bow ties and white and black dress shoes. The team did the Gangnam Style dance. Well, most of the team. The 7-foot Jeff Withey, the lone white starter on the team, struggled dancing, as any sober 7-foot white guy can attest to.

L – Super Bowl L. Apparently the L in Super Bowl L does not stand for Los Angeles after all. The NFL announced that the finalists for the 50th Super Bowl are Miami and San Francisco. The loser will then face off against Houston for the rights for Super Bowl LI the following year. The stadiums in question are Miami's Sun Life Stadium (which will probably be called something else by the time of the Super Bowl), Houston's Reliant Stadium and San Francisco's future stadium which isn’t even in San Francisco, but rather Santa Clara.

M – Mitt Romney. In March 2005, during another NHL lockout, Mitt Romney and Bain Capital swooped in and made a $3.5 billion offer to buy the NHL and its cult following. The offer was ultimately rejected by the owners. However, it begs the question, where would the NHL be right now if Romney and Bain Capital bought it in 2005? The smart money says the Eastern Conference would be in China and the Western Conference would be split up between Cayman Islands, Bermuda and Switzerland.

N – “NFL Redzone”. “NFL Redzone” host Scott Hanson's head almost exploded late Sunday afternoon during an insane triple box. All at the same time, on the same screen, Robert Griffin III was sprinting for a 76-yard touchdown against Minnesota while Russell Wilson was connecting on a game-winning touchdown pass to Sidney Rice against New England while Arizona's Jay Feely, who had just drilled a 61-yard field goal, doinked a 37-yard field goal off the post.

O – Out. Because he can’t fire Michael Vick and because he won’t fire himself, Philadelphia Eagles head coach Andy Reid has canned defensive coordinator Juan Castillo. Turns out Castillo, a former OFFENSIVE line coach, wasn’t cut out for d-coordinator. Who the hell hired him in the first place? Oh yeah, Reid.

P – Peyton vs. Philip. “Monday Night Football” was a showdown between a quarterback with the shortest sleeves, Philip Rivers, and a quarterback with the longest sleeves, Peyton Manning. In the end it was Rivers and his short sleeves proving to be the difference as he somehow turned the ball over six, yes six, times as the Chargers watched a 24-0 halftime lead turn into a typical Norv Turner 35-24 loss to the Denver Broncos.

Q – Quarterback. Alabama quarterback AJ McCarron was photographed signing boobs at Gallettes, the famed Tuscaloosa bar, after Alabama's 42-10 stomping of Missouri. Calm down ladies, it was just Missouri. Where does he get to sign if he beats LSU?

R – Rudi Johnson. Former Cincinnati Bengals running back Rudi Johnson (remember him?) is auctioning off basically everything from his playing days (all of one season, basically). Johnson was mostly famous for having his entire name written out on the back of his jersey. Fans (although I'm not sure that should be plural) can bid on everything from his community college jersey to game balls he actually touched. The online auction site is "Everything But The House," and I'm sure in a few weeks even his house will be up for auction.

S – Scott Torgerson. The Columbus ESPN Radio host has been suspended indefinitely for wishfully thinking out loud that Desmond Howard would "get fired or die" so he could watch “ESPN College GameDay” again. I don’t know what Torgerson was thinking, it's Lee Corso that makes the show unwatchable.

T – Torrie Wilson. Former WCW/WWE diva Torrie Wilson is dating Yankees playoff bust Alex Rodriguez, or at least they were before ARod’s shenanigans the other night (see A). As talk about ARod trying to score with a pair of Yankee groupies hit Twitter, Wilson went on a Twitter rampage, blocking anyone who portayed Rodriguez as anything but husband of the year material.

U – Unruly fan. A South Carolina fan at the South Carolina/LSU game Saturday night in Baton Rouge dropped his pants and mooned a number of LSU fans. The 34-year old was booked and arrested. However, while being escorted out of the stadium the fan managed to drop his pants again and moon another section of the crowd. The Cock fan was showing his ass. Oh, the irony.

V – Vikings. The Minnesota Vikings will "host" the Pittsburgh Steelers in London on Sept. 29, 2013. Pittsburgh should have a decided home-field advantage considering Steeler fans are known to travel great distances to see their team play while Vikings fans don’t even go to Minneapolis to see their team play, let alone Europe.

W – West Park Saints. Dion Robinson, a 43-year old assistant coach for the West Park Saints, attacked a referee after a youth football game in Florida was called because of an unsportsmanlike penalty. Robinson had to be thinking something along the lines of "I'll show you unsportsmanlike" when he ran across the field, holding up his cargo shorts, which were sagging to his ankles, and dropped the portly referee with a slap/punch. Turns out Robinson has a criminal record that includes aggravated assault, assault with a firearm and multiple arrests for cocaine distribution. Robinson is currently on the run and cops are looking for him.

X – XLVII. New Jersey has plans to legalize sports wagering by January 2013. The NCAA was so appalled by this it decided to pull five championship events from the state, including a swimming and diving event, part of a women’s hoops tournament, and some Division III volleyball and lacrosse games. How the state will recover from the loss of those highly-anticipated events is anyone’s guess. Oh, and the NFL still plans on bringing Super Bowl XLVII to New Jersey’s MetLife Stadium.

Y – Yankees. When Joe Girardi benched Alex Rodriguez for Game 3 of the ALCS, bettors were denied the easiest payday of their lives. Bovada had odds listed on how many times ARod would strike out, with the total at 1.5, and if ARod would get a hit off Justin Verlander, with the “yes” juiced at –120 and “no” at –110.

Z – Zay Jackson. Murray State sophomore guard Zay Jackson got into a heated exchange with a couple in a Walmart parking lot back in September after hitting their car with his shopping cart. As Jackson drove away, a man tried taking a picture of his license plate. Instead of posing for the shot, Jackson hit the man with his car and took him for a ride on the hood of his car. Walmart parking lots can be just as dangerous as bars for college athletes.

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