A – Auburn/Alabama. Deadbeat moms and dads throughout the state of Alabama fell for the oldest trick in the book when they received a letter claiming they had won tickets to the Iron Bowl. It was really a sting operation named Operation Iron Snare that lured the deadbeats to a location where they would be handed fake tickets and then arrested while being recorded by local television. The sting landed more than a dozen people in jail and collectively the group owed around $270,000 in child support. One fan, after being arrested, yelled, “Do I still get to keep my tickets?” as he was hauled away to the paddywagon. As one local put it, “Auburn tickets in Lee County are like cheese for a mouse.”

B – Bra and Panties Basketball. The bad news for basketball fans is that the NBA is going through a lockout and the WNBA is not. A solution has been concocted in Los Angeles: the Lingerie Basketball League. Hopefully the NBA 2011-12 season is canceled so we can devote more airtime to the LBL and you can take the 2-3 attractive WNBA players and throw them in this league. Unfortunately for basketball fans around the country, L.A. has somewhat of a monopoly on this league as all four teams, Beauties, Divas, Glam and Starlets, are based in Los Angeles. Basketball uniforms haven’t been this skimpy since John Stockton retired. 

C – Casey Anthony. This can’t be good for business, Casey Anthony finally surfaced last week and she was photographed wearing an Ohio State Buckeyes hat. But this is not as bad as it looks for Ohio State, because the only thing Anthony is guilty of is being hot.

D – Deion Sanders. “Primetime” thanked 109 people during his Pro Football Hall of Fame induction speech. If this was the Oscars he would have been shot with a tranquilizer dart and hauled off stage.

E – Eli Manning. New York Giants quarterback Eli Manning decided to share his opinion that he considers himself to be in the same class as Tom Brady.  That makes exactly one person in this country who thinks that. Either Manning and Brady are coincidentally in the same late-night hot yoga class together or Eli thinks his first name is Peyton.  

F – Fantasy Football League. Signs you’re in a bad fantasy football league: Peyton Hillis is taken before Peyton Manning or anyone on Sean Payton’s team, somebody drafts Andrew Luck, a backup quarterback (Tim Tebow) is taken before the guy he backs up (Kyle Orton), Jim Harbaugh is drafted as a quarterback, a Washington Redskins running back is drafted, anybody from Cincinnati is drafted, somebody drafts Brett Favre, somebody’s team features Steve McNair and Chris Henry.

G – Georgia Tech. A Georgia Tech alum claims she was strip searched last season at Bobby Dodd stadium as officers searched for a delicious Chick-fil-A chicken sandwich that they believed she had smuggled into the stadium. The woman, Mary Clayton, claims a female officer took her into a bathroom stall and ordered her to drop her pants and then lift her shirt and bra. Talk about chicken strips.

H – Hope Solo. An opportunity presented itself to Hope Solo and she took to Facebook to ask some advice. The smoking-hot USA women’s soccer goalkeeper wrote, “I think I might face my fears and do something I’m REALLY bad at. Shall I embarrass myself? What’s your guys’ thoughts?” Within 24 hours the post had generated 5,856 “likes” and 2,741 comments, of which nearly all of them referenced Playboy or “Dancing with the Stars”.

I – International Bracket. The international bracket in the Little League World Series features the defending champions from Japan, who are listed at +135. Other international contenders include Mexico (+225), Asia-Pacific (+225), Caribbean (+800) and Latin American (+800). Despite being named after an entire continent, Europe has the worst odds in the entire field at +7000.

J – Jermaine Lewis. Former Baltimore Ravens wide receiver Jermaine Lewis was tased at his home after cops went to his house to arrest him for reckless driving. After resisting arrest Lewis was tased in his own house in front of his four-year old son. And here I always thought Ray Lewis would be the first Raven to be tased in his own house.

K – Keegan Bradley. This is what happens when Tiger Woods and Phil Mickelson stop winning majors and instead 25-year old no-namers like Keegan Bradley start winning. After winning the PGA Championship, Bradley was photographed chugging some form of alcohol out of the Wannamaker Trophy. Just imagine what he’d do to the Green Jacket.

L – L is for Heisman. The 2011 Heisman Trophy will probably be won by a guy with L as an initial. Stanford quarterback Andrew Luck is the favorite on Bodog to win the overhyped award at 9/2 while Oklahoma quarterback Landry Jones is right behind him at 13/2. The next best odds belong to South Carolina running back Marcus Lattimore (7/1) and Oregon running back LaMichael James (15/2).

M – Manny vs. Marquez. Odds are out on the next Manny Pacquiao fight, aka bloodbath. The oddsmakers have installed Pacquiao as a -800 favorite in his Nov. 2 bout with Juan Manuel Marquez (+550) at MGM Grand in Las Vegas. The only prayer Marquez has is if Juan and Manuel are two separate people and this is a handicap match.

N – Norfolk Tides. This will teach the Baltimore Orioles to gear promotions towards stiffs like Brian Matusz and Nolan Reimold. For the second consecutive season the Baltimore Orioles handed fans at a home game a bobblehead of a pitcher who had already been sent down to the Triple-A Norfolk Tides. Last season it was Reimold bobbleheads given out to confused Baltimore fans, and this year Matusz’ likeness in bobblehead form was given to all fans on Aug.6 despite the fact that Matusz was busy getting shelled in the minor leagues.

O – Obama. Another day, another dis for Bears quarterback Jay Cutler, although this one was extra special as it came from the President of the United States of America. While welcoming the Green Bay Packers to the White House to congratulate them on their Super Bowl win, Obama was given an honorary title of part owner. He replied, “If I’m part owner, what I’m thinking is we should initiate a trade to send Rodgers down to the Bears.” The White House had to issue a clarification later saying Barack thought Rodgers would make a great backup to Cutler. So, really, I guess this was a dig at Caleb Hanie.

P –Pearl, Bruce. Back when he had a job, former Tennessee basketball Coach Bruce Pearl bought a $2.1 million mansion. That was in 2008. Now that he is unemployed his Knoxville-area home is on the market. The now $2.69 million price tag gets you 10,200 square feet, five bedrooms, six and a half baths, eight fireplaces, a saltwater pool, a billiard room and NCAA probation, we think.

Q – Quack, Quack.. In June, Oregon cornerback Cliff Harris hit into a nice triple play when he was caught speeding at 118 mph on a suspended license in a rental paid by someone at University of Oregon. Well, the plot has thickened as it turns out he was smoking dope and Oregon quarterback Darron Thomas was riding shotgun. The best part about the recorded traffic stop is when the officer asks Harris who has the weed, and Harris instantly responds, “We smoked it all.”

R – Regis and Erin. For still undetermined reasons, ESPN bombshell Erin Andrews filled in for Kelly Ripa on “Live! With Regis & Kelly” this week. Philbin went on a huge limb and predicted the New England Patriots and the Philadelphia Eagles to meet in the Super Bowl during the episode. Andrews said the Cleveland Browns were a team to keep an eye on, and she kept her clothes on the entire broadcast, so she was wrong twice.

S – Sunday Ticket. If football-loving PlayStation 3 fans were not already overweight, they definitely will be by January. DIRECTV has announced PS3 owners will be able to subscribe to NFL Sunday Ticket for about $390. Sunday Ticket offers fans up to 14 NFL games every Sunday in Full HD ,plus the popular Red Zone Channel. And most importantly, it offers no reason for fans to step outdoors at all.

T – Terrelle Pryor. Former high school prodigy and disgraced Ohio State quarterback Terrelle Pryor is eligible for the NFL Supplemental Draft, but he has to sit out the first five games of the 2011 season if he signs with a team. Hopefully whoever was planning on drafting the raw talent that is Pryor wasn’t planning on throwing him into the fire that early in the season anyway.

U – UFC on FOX. Rumors are swirling around that the UFC may reach an agreement with FOX that will land the premier MMA brand on network television for the first time. The deal could be worth close to $100 million and for around seven to eight years. For the love of everything that is holy, please keep Joe Buck as far away as possible from this.

V – Vixens of MMA.  Speaking of UFC, an MMA fan site just released its ranking of the Top Ten hottest MMA Ring Girls of 2011, and San Diego’s Brittney Palmer of the UFC came in at No. 1. Palmer was followed by the most famous of ring girls, Arianny Celeste of Playboy fame. The top five was rounded out by Kelli Hutcherson (Strikeforce), Rhian Sugden (British Association of Mixed Martial Arts) and Rachelle Leah (UFC).

W – World Series. There is nothing more American than gambling on the baseball World Series, and by that we mean the Little League World Series. These games are televised for a reason, to make ESPN a bunch of money and cost degenerate statutory gamblers a bunch of money. On 5Dimes Georgia (+170) is favored to win the US bracket that features California (+235) and the home favorites from Clinton County, Pennsylvania (+380).

X – XLVI. The Philadelphia Eagles are doing their best Miami Heat offseason impersonation, but the New England Patriots (13/2) remain the Super Bowl XLVI favorites. The Eagles are tied with the Packers at 7/1 for next-best odds. The Chargers (11/1), New York Jets (12/1) and Pittsburgh Steelers (14/1) are also in the mix, while the Buffalo Bills are not (150/1).

Y – Yahoo Sports. An 11-month investigation in Miami Hurricanes football program found that illegal benefits were showered upon 72 players from 2002 to 2010. This is absolutely shocking. Not because of how blatant it was, but because it took Yahoo 11 months to figure this out. Jock sniffer Nevin Shapiro supplied players with cash, prostitutes, jewelry, bounties to hurt opposing players, paid trips, travel and even an abortion. The next thing to be aborted may be the entire program.

Z – ZZZZZ. And you thought the glamorous life of professional athletes couldn’t get much better. Well, I present to you the case of Baltimore Orioles first baseman Chris Davis who will get time off work because he hurt himself sleeping. Davis reported that he aggravated his shoulder when he slept on it wrong. Try grabbing a sick day at your job using that line.