A – Al Davis. The 4-2 Oakland Raiders just traded away two first-round draft picks for a retired Carson Palmer, who had 24 turnovers last season. And here we all thought Al Davis was dead.

B – Beer. According to multiple reports, including one from Jon Lester, a trio of Boston Red Sox pitchers, Lester, Josh Beckett and John Lackey drank beer in the dugout during games.  The trio would often fill cups with Bud Light in the clubhouse and bring them out to the dugout when they were bored. Lester also went on about how the trio ate fried chicken and played video games in the clubhouse during games. In the quote of the year, Lester lashed back saying, “People are making us out to be a bunch of drunk, fried-chicken eating SOBs, playing video games.” Some players called the beers “rally beers” to help get the team going again. This genius plan of downing beers in the dugout apparently did not work as the Red Sox blew a nine-game lead in the wild-card race in September.

C – Chicago sports bar. The Spot, a Chicago sports bar, was advertising a $20 all-you-can-drink special for all World Series games. Sounds like the best bar advertisement ever, except the flyers and posters said Texans vs. Cardinals. Whoops. When you think about it, this might actually end up drawing more people, they may think it’s a football game and not baseball, and, heck, after an all-you-can-drink night, would you even know the difference?

D – Donovan McNabb. Two nights before a game at Soldier Field, Donovan McNabb decided to take in a Lingerie Football League game at the Target Center from the front row between the Minnesota Valkyrie and Los Angeles Temptation. He was presumably taking pointers from the LFL quarterbacks. McNabb was awful in his game on Sunday in a 39-10 loss as one-point underdogs. Coach Leslie Frazier benched McNabb shortly after the game, so he will more time to utilize his season tickets for the Minnesota Valkyrie.

E – Evgeni Malkin. The most unintentionally funny professional athlete Twitter account belongs to Pittsburgh Penguin Evgeni Malkin, a Russian. English is not his first language and from the looks of his tweets it’s not his second, third or fourth either. On Oct. 12 he tweeted, “I am getting ready to Halloween)))))))”. On Oct. 3 this nonsense was posted, “for all the heads of all let go from his job, a day of rest))))” And his all-time best came on Oct. 1, “just read that the tomato - fruit?? true?” Most of his tweets end with a bunch of close ended parentheses, which he may think are actually exclamation points.

F – Festus Ezeli. One of the best players and names in college basketball will be suspended for the first six games of the NCAA season this year. Vanderbilt 6-foot-11 center Fetus Ezeli accepted a meal and a hotel room from a Vanderbilt alumnus and the NCAA came down with the suspension. He should be back in time for Festivus.

G – Good Sam Club 500. For degenerate gambling rednecks too lazy to wait until Sunday to wager on the Good Sam Club 500 at Talladega, you can wager on qualifying matchups on Saturday. Some of the marquee matchups available for wagering include Mark Martin (-120) vs. Jimmie Johnson (-110) and Jeff Gordon (-115) vs. Dale Earnhardt Jr. (-115).

H – Home-field advantage. Who says the MLB All-Star Game shouldn’t be used to decide home-field advantage in the World Series? The Rangers won 96 games this season and the Cardinals won 90, but because the NL won in July, the World Series began in St. Louis on Wednesday. And why did the NL win in July? Because Texas Rangers starter C.J. Wilson lost the All-Star Game, giving up three earned runs in one inning. Of course, the winning pitcher was from the Washington Nationals, so I guess there is fuel for both sides of the argument.

I – Illinois casino. A 52-year-old man named Daniel Rago slapped Devin Hester in the back of the head at Rivers Casino in Des Plaines, Illinois on Friday. Rago, who likely wagered on the Bears at some point this season, simply walked up to Hester as he waited in line to make a cash transaction, and slapped the pro bowler in the back of the head and walked away. Rago was charged with a misdemeanor account of battery, but at least he got a hand on Hester. The Minnesota Vikings should think about putting him on their kick coverage team.

J – Jets. While most people in the US (and by most I mean everyone) were watching the New York Jets on “Monday Night Football,” some people in Canada (and by some I just mean some) were watching the Winnipeg Jets win their first game since moving back to Canada from their previous home in the hockey hotbed of Atlanta.

K – Keith Price. The Washington Huskies are paying the Price, literally. Huskies quarterback Keith Price accidentally said he was getting paid in a post-game interview after Washington’s win over Colorado on Saturday. When asked about his performance Price said, “This is what I’m getting paid for – is to play.” A bewildered reporter asked, “You’re getting paid???” Price fumbled for an answer and just started laughing while saying, “No, no, scholarship money!” Right.

L– Liquor. One hockey fan is still celebrating the Boston Bruins 2011 Stanley Cup win. In a game against Carolina on Tuesday night a fan chucked an empty bottle of whisky on the ice during the third period while the Hurricanes were up 2-1 and on a two-man advantage. No word on the whereabouts of Jon Lester when this happened. The Bruins went on to lose, 4-1, so the rally booze was not that effective.

M – “Monday Night Football”. Right about now ESPN has to be begging for some flex scheduling for “Monday Night Football”. After a Miami/Jets stinker this past week, a look ahead to the remaining Monday Night Football schedule shows some awful programing decisions. The Ravens visit the Jaguars in a made-for-TV blowout this Monday. Other beauties left on the schedule include San Diego at Kansas City, Minnesota at Green Bay (Packers likely -45), Chiefs at Patriots (Patriots likely -45), Chargers at Jaguars and Rams at Seahawks. I know hindsight is 20/20, but when did giving the Chiefs and Jaguars two “Monday Night Football” games each ever make sense? 2002? It’s one thing to put up with Jon Gruden, it’s another to deal with Gruden and bad football.

N – New Guy. Presumably because they don’t like him, the Minnesota Vikings have announced that rookie quarterback Christian Ponder will start this Sunday against Green Bay. The Vikings are nine-point underdogs on the NFL odds.

O – Occupy. Pitt football’s first season under Todd Graham has been a giant, high-octane disaster. The few fans on the Pitt bandwagon early this season have jumped ship after a 3-4 start. Tickets on Stubhub for Pitt’s Wednesday night game at home against Connecticut are going for as low as 99 cents. With Morgantown, West Virginia, the home of the rival Mountaineers, only an hour drive to Heinz Field, some Mountaineer fans have taken up an OccupyHeinzField plan for Wednesday to simply scoop up 99 cent tickets an invade and occupy the stadium to watch awful football. If pulled off correctly, this stunt could be television gold.

P – Pizza. Republican presidential candidate Herman Cain’s ode to pizza sung to the tune of John Lennon’s “Imagine” went viral. Despite featuring some lyrical gems like this…“Imagine there’s no pizza…I couldn’t if I tried…Eating only tacos…Or Kentucky Fried,” the video and song did not help Cain’s presidential odds. On Bodog he is listed at 11/2 to win the Republican presidential nomination behind Mitt Romney (1/2) and Rick Perry (5/1).

Q – Quarterback bachelor party. Juicy details about Boise State quarterback Kellen Moore’s bachelor party have been revealed. Before Moore got married to high school sweetheart Julie Wilson this summer, Moore and some buddies went rabblerousing, spending four hours taking bobsled, skeleton and zip-line rides. No wonder this kid went to Boise State. Do you even think the Miami Hurricanes would even attempt to recruit him?

R – Ratings. Not sure what conclusions can be drawn from this, but on average more females aged 2-17 watched “Sunday Night Football” (589,000) than males aged 2-17 watched the ALCS (325,000). So whether you’re a two-year-old infant girl fiddling with a remote or an adolescent teenage boy, everyone can agree a bad football game is always better than a baseball game.

S – Suck for Luck. The Suck for Andrew Luck campaigns are kicking into overdrive. The Dolphins (0-5), Rams (0-5) and Colts (0-6) obviously have no intention of trying to win games. You know the No. 1 overall pick in an upcoming draft is pretty good when there are three winless teams but only one unbeaten team. The oddsmakers are fully aware the Colts and Rams are likely throwing the games; they have St. Louis pegged as 13-point underdog against 2-3 Dallas and Indianapolis is getting 14 points at 4-2 New Orleans. Miami, on the other hand, is a one-point favorite at home against 1-4 Denver, who may also be trying to backdoor its way into the Suck for Luck sweepstakes.

T – Thanksgiving Day Football. Everyone always associates Thanksgiving with football. But the only reason people watch the games is to get the heck away from their family and because they’re too stuffed with food to do anything else. The games have often been as competitive as your backyard Turkey Bowl with your out of shape friends and relatives. But this season we are in store for some epic Turkey Day showdowns. The Packers, who could be undefeated, visit the Lions. The Dolphins, who will be winless, visit the Cowboys and on Thursday night the 49ers (5-1) visit the Ravens (4-1).

U – UFL. Figuring that nobody would notice, the United Football League declared an end to its regular season with two weeks left to play. The four-team UFL (pronounced AWFUL), just decided the heck with it and went ahead and scheduled Virginia and Las Vegas (both 3-1) to play on Friday for the UFL title. The league says this is not a desperate move. Could have fooled me.

V – Virginia Destroyers. Speaking of the highly-anticipated UFL title game, proving oddsmakers will put a spread on almost everything, 5Dimes has instilled the Virginia Destroyers as four-point favorites against the Las Vegas Locomotives. The ‘over/under’ is 40 both for total points scored in the game and total fans in attendance at the game.

W – Will Smith. Presumably because he is West Philadelphia born and raised, Will Smith is now a part owner of the Philadelphia 76ers. Billionaire Joshua Harris announced this week he was blowing a bunch of his money on the 76ers and that two of his investors were Smith and his wife Jada Pinkett Smith. I’m not sure how much Smith invested in the team, but considering there is no NBA right now, this purchase makes about as much sense as “Wild Wild West”.

X – Xcel Energy Center. In one of the more bizarre looking sports scenes, the Minnesota Wild gave out Gander Mountain blaze orange hunting caps to fans for Tuesday night’s game against the Penguins. The game was nationally (I use the word loosely) televised by Versus and the Xcel Energy Center looked more like a Cabela’s on a Saturday afternoon. The caps were given out to the first 10,000 fans, which means everyone got one.

Y – You Can’t Do That. Denver Bronco defender Ryan McBean made the most of his bye week. He was arrested on Friday on allegations of stalking in Denver. Not sure what you have to do to warrant stalking charges, but I think it requires more than just access to Facebook. McBean is the second Broncos player to be arrested this season after kicker Matt Prater was picked up for a DUI in August. I’m honestly not sure which one is worse.

Z – Zealand, New. If you’re an insomniac, a gambler or a gambling insomniac, then the Rugby Union World Cup final is likely in your future this weekend. If you still have any money left in your online sportsbook account at 4 a.m. eastern time on Sunday, I would recommend an ill-advised wager on the game. New Zealand (-900) is a heavy favorite over underdog France (+600). The game is being played in New Zealand, hence the ludicrous start time. The Rugby World Cup is a lot like the Soccer World Cup, except New Zealand is good at it, you can use your hands and people actually watch the soccer World Cup.