A – Anna Kournikova. Despite never really winning much of anything on the tennis circuit, Anna Kournikova was able to buy a 6,600 square-foot, seven-bedroom, eight-bath, ivy-covered, Mediterranean waterfront mansion on Sunset Island in South Beach. Well, you too can own that mansion without being any good at tennis because it is now on the market for $9.4 million, because we are assuming Kournikova is broke.  The palace has everything, including a two-story guesthouse and an incredible pool which we assume was a lot more fun when Anna still lived there. One thing noticeably absent from her mansion with everything is a tennis court.

B – Balding Mavs Fans. If you're a balding Dallas Mavericks fan you could be in luck. The team, along with hair restoration company Dallas Neograft, is giving bald Mavericks fans a chance to win tickets to the Western Conference finals if they upload their bald dome to their Facebook page. The hair restoration guys will make a few unlucky bald guys lucky and give away free tickets a Dallas home game and possibly a free hair restoration procedure. If you happen to win both, be careful because Dirk Nowitzki-led teams have a reputation for making their fans pull their hair out.
 
C – Citizens Bank Park. Early rumors surrounding the only NHL game most people watch, the Winter Classic, involve murmurs that it will be played at Philadelphia’s Citizens Bank Park on Monday, Jan. 2 and pit the Philadelphia Flyers against the New York Rangers. The reason it is on Jan. 2 and not the first and why it’s at a baseball park and not a football stadium is because the Eagles play at home on Jan. 1 and because the NFL ‘s usually meaningless Week 17 is always more important than the NHL’s biggest game. Since the game is in Philly and only seven days after Christmas we can only hope nobody dresses up as Santa Claus.

D – Dennis Rodman. The Worm was spotted at a New York City strip club last week and he got to talking about a legendary night back in 1996 when he dropped $80,000 to celebrate signing a one-year deal worth $9 million with the Bulls. Rodman was making it rain before Pac-Man even got to high school.

E - Eastern Conference Finals. For once the Eastern Conference Finals will blow the Western Conference Finals ratings out of the water. The matchup that nobody wants to see, the Mavericks against either the Thunder or Grizzlies will go up against the matchup that everybody wants to see: Miami/Chicago, Heat/Bulls, Wade/Rose, South Beach/Windy City. The series sells itself and if you're not sold yet, re-read that last sentence. The Bulls are favored by 1.5 in Game 1 in Chicago on Sunday night at 8 p.m. ET, but, interestingly enough, the Heat (-190) are favored in the series over the Bulls (+170).

F – Facebook. While professional athletes have been getting in trouble over their Twitter accounts, 11 High School athletes from Massachusetts were recently suspended for up to 60 percent of their athletic seasons after pictures surfaced on Facebook of the athletes in varying degrees of intoxication with alcohol clearly visible in the pictures. In case the school had trouble ID'ing any of them, the students made it easy by tagging themselves in the pictures and by wearing their letterman jackets as well.

G – Gay Marriage. NHL agitator Sean Avery said the first non-inflammatory words of his life, and it still sparked controversy. Avery offered support recently for gay hockey players who want to come out of the closet. Disagreeing with Avery's opinion, VP of Uptown Sports Management Todd Reynolds did what everyone else does when they want to get fired from their job, he went on Twitter and posted the following, "Very sad to read Sean Avery's misguided support of same-gender 'marriage'. Legal or not, it will always be wrong." Uptown Sports Management canned Reynolds almost immediately.

H – Hines Ward. The car Hines Ward was a passenger in was pulled over in Los Angeles last week between tapings of "Dancing With the Stars" and Hines and his female passenger and dancing partner Kym Johnson, who was driving the Honda Civic (wtf?), had guns pulled on them in a case of mistaken identity. Ward later said he thought he was being 'Punk'd'. Despite the near punking, Ward remains a favorite in the semifinals of "Dancing With the Stars." Ward is a 2/3 favorite over Chelsea Kane (4/1), Kirsti Alley (5/1) and Ralph Macchio (5/1).

I – Indians. The 23-13 Cleveland Indians have the best record in the American League, although nobody in Cleveland actually knows that. Many probably don't even know they still have a baseball team. Despite their first-place stance in the league, the Indians are dead last in attendance in all of baseball and nobody is even close. The 14,436 people who likely accidentally wander into Progressive Field on average is nearly 2,000 less per game than go to games in Tampa Bay and Pittsburgh. Yes that is right, the Pirates draw more fans than the Indians. The 14,436 average attendance is roughly the same number of people at a Cheesecake Factory on Mother's Day and the number equates to 33.2 percent of the ballpark, meaning that over two-thirds of the place is empty on average.

J – Jay Mariotti. Remember him? The former sportswriter/ESPN talking head got his name back in the news and ended his television career with his latest arrest. After reaching a plea deal in a domestic violence charge in September, Mariotti was charged with a triple crown of felonies – stalking, domestic violence and assault – after he tracked down his ex-girlfriend on the very same day a court ordered him to do the exact opposite. There were some misdemeanors in there too. The low point for Mariotti came on April 15 when he reportedly yanked a chunk of his ex's hair out while grabbing her cell phone and shouting at her. We can only hope “Around the Horn” discusses this on their next episode.

K – Kevin Jepsen. There are wild pitches then there is what Angels’ reliever Kevin Jepsen hurled the other night in the tenth-inning. In a 4-4 tie game, Jepsen allowed the winning run to score from third base on a wild pitch, while trying to intentionally walk the batter! Not only can Jepsen not throw strikes, he couldn’t even throw a ball. The wild pitch allowed the White Sox to take a 5-4 lead and they eventually won, 6-4. Angeles manager Mike Scioscia said, "You don't see that very often." Actually you never see that, unless you watch this week's blooper reels. Speaking of the Angels…

L – Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim. From the same team who brought you the weirdest team name in sports and the Guinness Book of World Record for largest gathering of people wearing fleece blankets (aka Snuggies), the Angels have now set another world record. This week all fans attending the Angels game received a red wrestling mask (think Mexican cruiserweight wrestling). The former record of 250 people wearing wrestling masks never had a chance unless this was a Pirates or Indians game. The people at Guinness went ahead an announced that Angels broke the record for largest gathering of Rey Mysterio Jr. lookalikes and largest gathering of people wearing masks.

M – Macdonald, Norm.  On his sports talk show, comedian and sports commentator Norm Macdonald showcased to the audience his betting ticket on Manny Pacquiao and his gambling problem. Macdonald wagered $25,000 on Pacquiao at horrendous odds to win $3,125. He had the betting ticket from the Wynn/Encore sportsbook to prove it and he showed it on the air. Macdonald looked a little less stupid after Pacquiao won by unanimous decision, but those were still some terrible odds he got.

N – NBA. My favorite part of the release of the All-NBA team is looking at some of the guys who somehow got votes. Utah's Al Jefferson had as many votes (3) as Memphis' Marc Gasol. Toronto's Andrea Bargnani had as many votes (2) as his former teammate, Chris Bosh. And Luis "Freakin" Scola had as many votes (1) as Jason Kidd, Luol Deng and Ray Allen. And you think only college football writers don't know how to vote.

O – Other Show in Town. While most NBA players attention was on American Airlines Arena in South Beach these past few weeks during the playoffs, Washington Wizard forward Andray Blatche, a walking train wreck, was busy hosting "Lapdance Tuesdays" at Cameo, a Miami Gentleman's Club. Blatche attached his name to it and took to Twitter to heavily promote the event. How Blatche is aloud in a strip club, let alone to promote an event for it, is beyond me. This is the same guy who was busted for trying to solicit a prostitute and arrested for reckless driving on a suspended license three times!

P – Pollard on Phil. Phil Jackson's coaching career likely ended when the Lakers were swept by the Dallas Mavericks in the Western Conference semifinals. A few days later someone decided it was a good idea to ask retired NBA stiff Scot Pollard what he thought of the Zen Master. And, of course, Pollard had plenty of time of his hands and popped off on Jackson and his 11 NBA titles saying, "I just think he's one of the most overrated coaches of all time…Put him in charge of the Sacramento Kings this year…or the Cleveland Cavaliers right now and let's see how he does." Of course, Pollard would know, he played for both of those sorry franchises and obviously never won an NBA title.

Q – Quarterback's daughter. Super Bowl-winning quarterback Mark Rypien has to be sort of proud of his daughter Angela. Like a chip off the old block, Angela will be playing quarterback, except she'll be doing it wearing lingerie in the Lingerie Football league. Angela will play for the Seattle Mist, which sounds awfully like a certain Sprite knockoff. Angela and the Mist will compete in the 12-team 7-on-7 full-contact but not fully-clothed league. The season will open in November.

R – Retired Jersey. The Packers have given old No. 4 an ultimatum. The franchise has said they will retire his No. 4 jersey if, in fact, Brett Favre ever retires himself, which likely means that Green Bay will never retire the number because even if Favre does retire, who's to say the Packers will believe him.

S – Semi-nude Cheerleader Sues. Former Indianapolis Colts cheerleader Malori Wampler regularly danced semi-nude on the sidelines of NFL football games, but once she posed semi-nude in Playboy she was fired by the team. Now the 27-year old Indonesian bombshell is suing the team for discrimination. Other white members of the Colts cheerleading squad allegedly committed similar offenses but have not been punished. They say a fan turned Wampler in, but that simply cannot be true, because what kind of fan would that be. The pictures in question are must-see material featuring Wampler "wearing" a painted-on bikini. The sad thing about this lawsuit is that Wampler is demanding compensation, which for an NFL cheerleader is only $100 per game. Maybe they're the ones who should be going on strike.

T – Tom Benson. You know a Super Bowl ring is impressive when it even caught the attention of the Holy Father. Probably because he owns a team named the Saints, New Orleans Saints owner Tom Benson recently attended a papal audience at the Vatican. Benson got a face-to-face with Pope Benedict XVI and kissed his Fisherman's Ring as is custom. Benson then showed the Pope a ring that was even bigger, his Saints' Super Bowl ring.

U – UFC and Twitter. Professional athletes around the country have been running their mouths on Twitter and getting themselves in trouble for quite some time, and with no real incentive to do so. Now the UFC is giving its fighters an incentive to ramble on the social networking site. While the NFL and MLB are fining players and coaches for certain Twitter postings, the UFC has announced that it will start awarding fighters $5,000 bonuses for having the most followers during a specific time frame. UFC is planning to dish out $240,000 in Twitter bonuses this year. This may be the beginning of the end for any potential UFC career Rashard Mendenhall had in mind.

V – Vancouver/San Jose. The two top seeds in the Western Conference both avoided dubious history by nearly blowing 3-0 series leads, and now both will meet in the Western Conference finals. The Canucks jumped on the Black Hawks, 3-0, in the first round only to watch in horror as Chicago forced a Game Seven. Vancouver would prevail in overtime. In the second round San Jose watched its 3-0 series lead over the Redwings vanish like an unlocked car in Detroit. The Sharks were able to win Game Seven to set up a series between a pair of choke artists that will likely interest 16 people on the East Coast.

W – Wladimir Klitschko. The most random and awkward celebrity/athlete couple of all time has called it quits after two years. Thirty-five year old Ukrainian heavyweight ogre Wladimir Klitschko and 21-year old American cocaine-thin Hayden Panettiere have broken up, citing physical distance as a stumbling block, but not the fact that Panettiere is the size of Klitschko’s left pinky. The breakup comes just two weeks after Panettiere appeared on "Ellen" and described in some detail how she and the Ukrainian ogre fornicate.

X – Xbox 360. To help Lamar Odom feel better about himself, his wife's brother Rob Kardashian let him win in an Xbox 360 matchup between the Lakers and Mavericks. I know this because ESPN.com let Kardashian write a blog for some reason. In this week's Pulitzer-nominated gem titled "Losses are tough around the house", Kardashian talks about dealing with Lamar Odom dealing with being swept by the Mavericks. The column is rife with such depth, like this passage for example, "One of the better ways to relieve stress was the Xbox 360 and our favorite game, 'NBA 2k11.' Both Lamar and I get really into it, and I went easy on him last week, playing with the Mavericks and letting him destroy me with the Lakers. Unfortunately, that didn’t happen in real life, but it was a lot of fun to pretend." Sounds like a cutesy little blog little Rob has here until I later found out the kid was actually 24 years old.

Y – Year of the Pitcher Part II. In the second season of the somewhat steroid-free era of major league baseball, I guess we should be getting used to this. However, once again we had the first no-hitter before we had the first three-homer game. The trio of bombs came courtesy of New York Met Carlos Beltran, but it comes 36 games into the year and a few weeks after Francisco Liriano tossed his gem. Ten years ago Sammy Sosa and Barry Bonds would have combined for 20-30 of these three home run games. Be careful what you wish, baseball fans.

Z – Zero Dollars. The first report was that Ohio State linebacker Thaddeus Gibson spent exactly $0 on his 2007 Chrysler 300C from a car dealership that was in pretty tight with the Ohio State Athletic Department. But then later it was revealed that Gibson actually paid for the car, problem was he paid $13,700 for it back in 2007. This raises even more questions. Where did Gibson get the 13-plus large and why did he only pay that much, in 2011 (four years later) the Blue Book value for that same 2007 car is $24,275. Just remember, Jim Tressel, you can't spell investigation without vest.