A – Abe Lincoln. The guy that was shutting down LeBron James for most of the NBA Finals is DeShawn Stevenson, the guy better known for a bizarre Abraham Lincoln tattoo on his neck. The tattoo is as random as it had to be painful. The inked up Stevenson has another equally bizarre tattoo on his face, a backwards Pittsburgh Pirates symbol on his left cheekbone. Yes, the Pirates, and yes it is backwards. James has yet to use the peculiar tattoos as an excuse for his awful performance in the NBA finals, but there is still time.

B – Britt, Kenny. If this NFL lockout carries on just imagine what might become of Tennessee Titans wide receiver Kenny Britt. He has spent his free time running afoul of the law as many times as possible. A day after pleading guilty to reckless driving, Britt was arrested again on two counts of resisting arrest. I'm pretty sure this is what Ray Lewis was alluding to when he said crime will go up if there is no NFL season.

C- Canadian Football. Disgraced former Ohio State footballer Terrelle Pryor tells the Canadian Football League no thanks. Somehow the CFL had a process to determine that a team named the Saskatchewan Roughriders owned the rights to Pryor. So the Roughriders went ahead and extended Pryor an offer and he, of course, immediately turned it down, Pryor has made some dumb decisions in his life, but he was as wise as a sage in telling the Roughriders ‘hell no’. Pryor says he wants to enter the NFL Supplemental Draft and in that draft the Buffalo Bills should probably avoid him because he has made it clear that he does not want to play in Canada.

D – Dan Le Batard in a Speedo. As frightening as a proposition of seeing the plump and hairy Miami Herald newspaper columnist Dan Le Batard in a Speedo, the other option might have actually been worse.  Le Batard and Charles Barkley wagered on the NBA Finals. Le Batard took the Heat and Barkley took the Mavericks. After Dallas won the series, 4-2, Le Batard now has to rock a Speedo on South Beach while doing a radio interview. Barkley is an openly compulsive and degenerate gambler, but he was on the right side for once, thank goodness.

E – Excuse for LeBron. Looks like Queen James may have another excuse. A year after teammate Delonte West was allegedly sleeping with LeBron’s mother, Gloria James, during the playoffs, a rumor surfaced that Orlando Magic guard Rashard Lewis is sleeping with LeBron’s girlfriend, Savanna Brinson. The Rashard/Savanna rumors were sweeping the Internet this week and even caused Lewis to trend on most social media Web sites.

F – Fiji Rugby World Cup Odds. What do countries like Fiji, Samoa, Wales and New Zealand have in common? They all somehow have better odds to win the Rugby Union 2011 World Cup than the United States. In probably the only sport New Zealand will ever be favored in, they are listed at -130 to win the Rugby World Cup on 5Dimes. Wales (+5500), Fiji (+50,000) and Samoa (+60,000) all have better odds than the United States, which has outlandish odds of +100,000.

G – Guillens. Like father like son. Unfortunately for Chicago White Sox Manager Ozzie Guillen, his son Oney shares more with him than just a weird first name. Oney can get in trouble on Twitter just like his old man. After the White Sox took some lanky outfielder named Keenyn Walker, Oney tweeted, "Shocker white sox pick another good athlete black kid. How about picking a good baseball player." Burn.

H – Heimlich Maneuver. Watching the NBA and Stanley Cup Finals, it is really hard to determine who needs the Heimlich maneuver more right now, Miami Heat's LeBron James or Vancouver Canucks goalie Roberto Luongo. Both are considered elite in their respective sport and both are considered colossal chokers in big-time games. James was not even one of the top five best players on the court in Game 4 or 5 at Dallas, vanishing in the fourth quarter. Luongo allowed a staggering 12 goals in two games in Boston before getting yanked in Game 4.

I – Ibiza. Every NBA player would like to be playing in an arena named after American Airlines right now. But if you can't be there, Ibiza, Spain is not a bad second option. That is where 30-year old, seven-foot tall Laker forward Pau Gasol was spotted recently, canoodling on a boat with basically naked girlfriend, 29-year old smoke show Silvia Lopez Castro. Some blamed relationship problems between Gasol and Silvia for Gasol not looking himself in the NBA playoffs. Fat younger brother Marc Gasol outplayed his brother in the playoffs, but who is laughing now?

J – Jock sniffer. It has become apparent that 21-year old snack Hayden Panettiere is doing her best Kim/Khloe Kardashian impersonation and latching on to whatever athlete she can. Just a few months after breaking up with an ogre from the Ukraine (Heavyweight boxing champion Wladimir Klitschko), Panettiere was linked with New York Jets quarterback Mark Sanchez. That may or may not be true, but what is true is that now Panettiere is dating Sanchez’s teammate, wide receiver Scotty McKnight. Something tells me the next chapter in this story involves Reggie Bush.

K – Kris Humphries. If you're going to marry Kim Kardashian, you're going to need a better agent. That was likely what was going through Kris Humphries' mind when he bagged former agent Dan Fegan and hired new agent, Marc Cornstein of Pinnacle Management. Cornstein is now tasked with finding Humphries employment and quick. The former New Jersey Net made $3.2 million last year, but spent $2 million of it on a rock for Kim.

L – Locked up to Locked out. After somehow getting arrested for shooting himself, Plaxico Burress is a free man and out of jail. However, unfortunately for Plax, he went from being locked up, to locked out. Burress, who has to be broke as a joke right now, enters a world without NFL. Timing literally could not be any worse for Burress, who spent nearly two years of his NFL prime locked up. Something tells me this movie does not end like the Michael Vick one.

M – Mug Shot Mark. Former baseball player Mark Grace was picked up over Memorial Day weekend for a DUI in Scottsdale, Arizona. What makes this particular arrest funny is Grace's mugshot (Google it) where he is smiling like a butcher's dog.

N – North Dakota. Poor North Dakota. The Miss USA 2011 beauty pageant has not even started yet and already the oddsmakers are not giving Miss North Dakota Beth Dennison much of a chance. Dennis is hardly a bombshell, but with odds at +8000 you’d think she was a he. Miss Montana has equally long odds at +8000, but you cannot blame the bad odds on being from an obscure state. Miss Idaho is listed at +1400, fourth best odds, behind only the favorites Miss California (+400), Miss South Carolina (+800) and Miss Indiana (+1000). Of course all those odds pale in comparison to the odds of men watching only the swimsuit competition (-10,000).

O – Odom's Wife. Of all the Kardashians to have their nipple exposed on live television for six-plus minutes, it had to be Mrs. Lamar Odom, Khloe Kardashian. But it was a nip slip nonetheless, although not you’re every day run of the mill slip. Somehow Khloe's boob got loose in her shirt while on the talk show "Fox & Friends." Instead of popping out of the middle of her shirt, the nipple jutted out to the side area usually reserved for side boob viewing. The nipple was clearly visible behind a see-thru section of Khloe's shirt. Everybody on the set lied by omission and said nothing of the nipple, but Khloe's Twitter feed was ablaze with nipple discussion almost immediately.

P – Prenup. Kim wants prenup. In a scenario you do not hear every day, an NBA star's fiancé wants a prenuptial agreement before the wedding. Rumptious reality star Kim Kardashian is finalizing a prenup before her marriage to NBA free agent Kris Humphries. Kardashian raked in about $12 million in 2010 while Humphries made $3.2 million but blew most of it (see K). The prenup will protect Kardashian's Beverly Hills mansion and all of her assets, which likely includes her huge ass.

Q – Quarter. The fourth quarter of critical NBA Finals Game 5 was a tale of two supposed team leaders. Dirk Nowitzki put his team on his back, scoring eight points, including a go-ahead slam dunk and leading the Mavericks to a 112-103 win. LeBron James put himself on a milk carton and went missing, scoring two points in the final quarter. Before the game James called Game 5 the biggest of his life. Nowitzki said it was his team's Game 7. Dirk walked the walk while King James is now 2-8 in NBA Finals games.

R – Red Sox/Yankees. The teams just concluded one of their 83 series of the MLB season this week. After a three and a half hour rain delay, Red Sox used a massive seven-run seventh-inning to take down the Yankees, 8-3, and complete the three-game series sweep. Boston was actually an underdog in two of the three games.

S – Sexting Kim. For those keeping score at home, this is the third A-Z entry regarding apple-bottom Kim. An NFL player has recently accused Kardashian of sexting him and carrying on an affair while she was dating current fiancé Kris Humphries. This seems highly believable considering the accusations are being made by a black, 6-foot-1, 210-pound NFL player, right up Kim's alley. The part that may raise question marks is the player is some guy named Bret Lockett, an undrafted special teamer already on his second team in two years. Kardashian vehemently denies this saying she has never met Lockett while Lockett claims to have phone records, text messages and "very personal cell phone pics." Hopefully this is not the last of this we hear, or see, because where there is smoke there is usually a sex tape.

T – Trophy odds. With Pryor taking his talents and baggage to the NFL, the 2011 Heisman Trophy race just opened up a little bit. The favorite remains Stanford quarterback Andrew Luck who is listed at +250 on 5Dimes. Somehow Denard Robinson (+550) is still considered a contender despite the spread offense leaving Michigan. Some dark horses include Baylor quarterback Robert Griffin III (+1800) and USC quarterback Matt Barkley (+4000). If you wager on Barkley and he wins only to have to return the Heisman in a few years, you still get to keep your winnings.

U – Uncle Bill. The disaster that is the Bill Stewart coaching reign at West Virginia University ended like many thought it would, slightly more graceful than a fiery train wreck. Stewart, who often resembled a drunk and confused uncle at family reunions while roaming the sidelines in clothes that didn’t fit him, has been pushed aside in favor of head-coach-in-waiting Dana Holgorsen, who is more of a drunken frat boy, although with a much better offensive game plan.

V – Vancouver Stanley Cup tickets. Perhaps the biggest upset of the postseason is the fact that NHL Stanley Cup Final tickets are selling for more than NBA Finals tickets. Crazy Canadian hockey fans and championship-starved Bruin fans are driving up tickets on the secondary resale markets to a ridiculous average of over $700 on some sites. Not even an epic Dirk Nowitzki vs. the world NBA Finals can match those prices. Game 7 tickets at Vancouver's Rogers Arena might be the hardest ticket to get north of the border since Rush played Stars 4 SARS in 2003.

W – Wladimir Klitschko. The first title defense in the post-Hayden Panettiere era, is on the horizon for heavyweight champion Wladimir Klitschko. The oddsmakers may think not having former girlfriend Panettiere around is a bad thing for Klitschko, who is only a -190 favorite against David Haye (+165) in the 12-round heavyweight clash scheduled for July 2 in Hamburg, Germany.

X – XLVI, Super Bowl. Bodog has updated Super Bowl XLVI odds and now the Green Bay Packers and New England Patriots are co-favorites, both listed at 7/1 just ahead of the Pittsburgh Steelers (11/1) and San Diego Chargers (12/1). The Bills and Panthers share the tag as long shots at 100/1 and Seattle, which somehow won a playoff game last year, has the third worst odds at 80/1.

Y – Yahoo! Sports. A recent tally of Web traffic showed that Yahoo! Sports, not ESPN, is the No. 1 ranked online sports property. With 45.9 million unique users in April 2011, Yahoo! outpaced ESPN (40.3 million) and Fox Sports (27.5 million). Just goes to show, as long as you have the best fantasy league set ups, it doesn’t matter what else is on the site.

Z – Zero, Agent. Gilbert Arenas recently went on a blind date and live-tweeted during the entire event. The date took a turn for the worse instantly when Arenas called his date out for "lookn like SIMBA" in a jungle print shirt. Arenas went on to say that his blind date was blind when she picked out her outfit. He even tweeted pictures of the shirt and claimed that the girl nearly caught him taking the pics. During his live tweeting he delivers such classics as "If I would have known I would mess this up I would have taken her to get a rudy tuti fresh and fruti meal from ihop" and "I don’t think imma get the goods tonight…I messed my chances up..she looked mad..over there lookin like a thunder cat.." Arenas even called her out for eating too much. I'm pretty sure this is why they invented Twitter.