A – Alex Rodriguez. Imagine sitting at a poker table with Spiderman (Tobey Maguire), Billy Costigan (Leonardo DiCaprio), Dougie MacRay from Charlestown (Ben Affleck), Jason Bourne (Matt Damon) and Alex Rodriguez playing himself. Well, apparently these poker games once took place and now MLB is looking into it because baseball players are held at higher standards all of a sudden. The high stakes, illegal games allegedly apparently took place around 2009 at the Beverly Hills mansion owned by some record label guy name Cody Leibel.

B – Burress, Plaxico. The nickname “Plexy glass” may stick again. After missing two years of football while locked up, Plaxico Burress will miss his first day or two of training camp after rolling his left ankle in a private workout with another former Steeler, Santonio Holmes. Last time Burress rolled his ankle he was walking down the steps of a club in his sweatpants and he shot himself in the leg. Remember that?

C – Collateral. Through a series of confusing acquisitions and purchases, Spanish banking conglomerate Bankia inherited Real Madrid's debt and now has been forced to put up Cristiano Ronaldo and Kaka as collateral as it seeks a loan from the European Union. I'm not quite sure if the players know this, but if Bankia defaults on its loans, then Ronaldo and Kaka would be owned by the European Central Union and they don’t even have a soccer team.

D – Durant, Kevin. It’s hard enough taking to the streets of Harlem and not getting shot. Kevin Durant took it a step further and not only dodged the bullets, but he also dropped 66 points in a legendary performance in Harlem’s Rucker Park. The next night Bulls guard John Lucas III dropped 60 points. Forget heading overseas, NBA players should start flocking to Harlem, no one plays defense!

E – Eagles. Justin Babin, former Titans defensive end and current Philadelphia Eagle, tweeted about his new dream team in Philly by saying that they are the new Miami Heat. So apparently Babin wants to be detested by the entire country and to lose in the championship to a German guy with crazy hair.

F- Fashionably late for free agents. The San Francisco 49ers joined in the free agent fiasco about seven days too late. They picked up some scrap pieces in former New York Jets wide receiver Braylon Edwards and former Bills safety Donte Whitner. Upon hearing the news of the Edwards signing, Whitner was so excited that he tweeted, "Bray I signed there today also…let's get a RING!" Not sure what ring he is talking about, but the 49ers haven’t even been to the playoffs since 2002.

G – Going overseas. A few New Jersey Nets are going to find out what it is like to play for a winning team. Jordan Farmar, who is Jewish, is returning to the motherland to play for Israeli champions Maccabi Tel Aviv. His teammates Deron Williams and Sasha Vujacic have already signed on to play professionally in Turkey. One of Farmer's new teammates is former Duke guard Jon Scheyer. Signing the Jewish Farmar is a big coup for Tel Aviv because Israeli teams are only allowed to have four foreign players per team, but Farmar will be considered an Israeli.

H – HGH. The NFL will become the first major US professional sports league to begin blood testing for human growth hormone. In unrelated news former NFL player Bill Romanowski has given up his comeback bid.

I – Idaho Bowl Game. Greatest. Name. Ever. The bowl formerly known as the MPC Computers Bowl and the Crucial.com Humanitarian Bowl and then just the Humanitarian Bowl is now known as the Famous Idaho Potato Bowl. Some of us were calling it that already because the game was in Idaho, but now it is official after the Idaho Potato Commission (who knew that existed) signed a six-year deal to name the cold-weather bowl that is played on the smurf turf in Boise, Idaho. A press release tried to liken the Famous Idaho Potato Bowl to other foody bowls like the Orange Bowl and Sugar Bowl. The big difference being those two are playing in South Beach and New Orleans, respectively, as opposed to Idaho. The game will be televised by ESPN for all the couch potatoes out there.

J – Jovanovski, Bojana. Incredibly confused tennis player Bojana Jovanovski showed up in Carlsbad, New Mexico, for a tournament that was actually in Carlsbad, California. Who knew there was even one Carlsbad?? Jovanovski is only 19, but she is the No. 53-ranked player in the world. I guess those rankings do not take into account IQ or sense of direction. Jovanovski flew from Washington, D.C. to Carlsbad, New Mexico, while her driver circled around the Carlsbad, California, airport looking for her. Jovanovski's next tournament is in Toronto. FYI for Bojana, there are seven Toronto's in the US, but I don’t think the tournament is at any of those.

K – Kobayashi. In the greatest minor league baseball promotion ever thought up, Japanese competitive eating legend Takeru Kobayashi will challenge fans in an eating showdown when the RailCats from Gary, Indiana, take on Shreveport-Bossier in a minor league baseball game. Besides challenging fans, Kobayashi will also sign autographs and pose for pictures with fans during the Wet Your Whistle Wednesday promotion that features $2 MGD drafts and 50-cent wings. Even at 50-cents a pop Kobayashi will be looking at a hefty bill. This is a man who once ate 93 hamburgers in one sitting.

L – Logan's farts. Florida Marlins outfielder Logan Morrison is putting up major league numbers this season in his second year out of the minors. He has 16 home runs and 56 RBI, but when it comes to his farts, he's still in the minors. I know this because Morrison tweeted about it saying, "My farts aren’t manly (at all). They sound like a baby blowing out birthday candles…" I'm pretty sure that’s not why they invented Twitter.

M – Marv's Mustache. Syracuse defensive end Marv Marinovich has found the quickest way to parlay collegiate athletics into instant Internet fame – grow a ridiculous mustache. Marinovich is currently sporting an 18th century handlebar masterpiece on his face. I'm not even sure if the kid starts, but his facial hair should be enough to get him on the field.

N – NFL. The NFL season is nearly upon us, and here are some things you can expect based on averages through a 256-game (16-week) regular season. On average there will be 27 game-winning field goals kicked with less than two minutes in regulation or in overtime, there will be 315 replay reviews with 113 calls reversed, there will be 8,192 footballs used, 22 games decided by 28 points or more, and nine shutouts that will likely all involved the Oakland Raiders.

O – Overrated. It’s tough to be overrated in August, but it looks like No. 19 Auburn may be the most overrated team of all time. There must be some rule stating that you have to rank the defending National Champions. Auburn was decimated by graduation and the oddsmakers have set their season win total 'over/under' at 6.5, but the coaches ranked them No. 19 in their preseason poll. Either the coaches know something we don't or the oddsmakers are right on. I wonder who could possibly be right.

P – Pitchers. There are only 30 teams in baseball, but Jamie Moyer has managed to give up home runs in 42 different ballparks, the most in baseball history. He has company, as Randy Johnson and Pedro Martinez have allowed home runs in 41 different parks and Livan Hernandez and Javier Vazquez have been tagged in 40 different yards.

Q – Quarterback Totals. Bodog has released 'over/unders' for a trio of NFL quarterbacks who have landed in new homes. The totals are as follows, Arizona Cardinals quarterback Kevin Kolb (3,500 yards, 17 ½ touchdowns, 17 ½ interceptions), Tennessee Titans quarterback Matt Hasselbeck (3,000 yards, 15 ½ touchdowns, 15 ½ interceptions) and Minnesota Vikings quarterback Donovan McNabb (3,200 yards, 16 ½ touchdowns, 12 ½ interceptions). 

R – Red River Rivalry. The Red River Rivalry between Texas and Oklahoma won't kick off until Oct. 8, but a couple die-hard fans got things started a little early with a good old knife fight at a San Antonio Applebee’s.  Both men are expected to make a full recovery, at least physically.  

S – Seattle play calling. Proving that he has NO IDEA what to do with Tarvaris Jackson as his quarterback, Seattle Seahawks Head Coach Pete Carroll is asking his Twitter followers to pick the first play of their first preseason game against San Diego. So you probably want to tune into this game because I doubt anybody is going to tweet “fullback dive”. Expect to see some crazy flea flicker double reverse Hail Mary to start the season. If Seahawk fans were smart they would call for a quarterback sneak right up the middle with the hope somebody hurts Jackson.

T – Tickets. The NHL is the least popular of the big four sports in North America, but it has the second most expensive average ticket. Go figure. Here are the average ticket prices for the four major sports: NFL ($76.47), NHL ($54.25), NBA ($48.08) and MLB ($26.91).
 
U – USA Today Coaches Poll. Oklahoma gets the nod from the coaches as the top-ranked team in the preseason. The Sooners received 42 first-place votes with No. 2 Alabama (13), No. 3 Oregon (2) and No. 4 LSU (2) also receiving first-place votes.

V – Van Wilder. After being drafted No. 3 overall in the 2000 draft, former “Van Wilder” star,  Darius Miles apparently forgot how to play basketball and now he has forgotten you can't take a loaded gun through airport security. Miles was arrested Wednesday in St. Louis when he attempted to bring a loaded gun past those TSA geeks. Miles is no terrorist, just a massive NBA draft bust who is best known for a cameo in “Van Wilder”.

W – Win totals. Bodog has posted 'over/unders' for college football teams. Defending National Champion Auburn has the same total as Big 12 South cellar dweller Baylor (6.5). The highest posted totals are 10 and that belongs to Nebraska, Oklahoma, Alabama, Boise State, Virginia Tech and Florida State.

X – eXes. In a showdown that should feature more drama than a Triple Crown race, jockeys and former lovers Mike Smith and Chantal Sutherland will challenge each other in the "Battle of the Exes"at Del Mar.  The one-mile match race is made for daytime TV drama. The contest will pit Sutherland, who will ride A.P. Indy, against Smith, who will mount Joker Face. Smith is the favorite at 3/5 while Sutherland is even money. Smith challenged his ex-wife to the race at a press conference.

Y – Yankees. The Pittsburgh Pirates have the North American sports record for most consecutive losing seasons with 18. They appear to be on their way to extending that record this season. The New York Yankees are just the opposite, they are in the midst of 18 consecutive winning seasons. However, unlike the Pirates, they do not own the record, they are not even halfway there! The Yankees strung together 39 consecutive winning seasons from 1926 to 1964.

Z – Zero. Those must be the odds of Brett Favre returning to football this season. For the first time since Favre began mulling retirement in like 1992, oddsmakers have stepped out and made retirement the favorite in regards to Favre's future. According to Bodog, the odds of Favre playing in the NFL in 2011 are +200. There is not an option to bet "no". The key word in that bet is 2011, because I'm sure the odds of him playing in 2013 are like –900.