I'll say right up front that I'm not a big fan of "Dancing With The Stars". My wife used to make me watch it, but thankfully she grew tired of it after Season 2. She's one of the only ones, though. This show is a cultural phenomenon, and it has provided CPR to an amazing number of careers of C-list stars and athletes. The eighth season of the show starts on March 9 with 13 dancers and their partners. I won't be watching it, but that doesn't mean that I won't handicap it. Odds are being offered, and any time that happens it's a good thing. Here's a look at my Dancing With the Stars predictions for 2009 (odds are from Sportsbook.com):

The No-Hopers

Every season there are the people who come on the show with absolutely no chance of winning. They just need a little attention. This year is no exception.

Steve Wozniak (+2500) - This guy is 'the other Steve' - the guy who co-founded Apple Computers with Steve Jobs. He's a 58-year-old computer geek. He looks about as athletic as a three-legged bulldog. He stands about as much chance of winning as I do, and I wouldn't be caught dead anywhere near this show.

Steve-O (+2500) - You probably know him from "Jackass". You won't know him from this show. Not for long, anyway. Doing well on this show takes a tremendous amount of focus, concentration and commitment. Steve-O is a drug-abusing lunatic who will do anything for attention. He doesn't stand a chance.

Lawrence Taylor (+500) - Taylor may be the best linebacker ever, but he's not going to be a dancing champ. He's undoubtedly athletic, but he's also 50 and has lived a very hard life. His body is going to struggle to hold up to the strain. He has a strong partner, but that won't be enough to carry him deep.

Nancy O'Dell (+800) - O'Dell is the co-host of Access Hollywood. I don't see how that qualifies her to do well on this show. She'll be a competent performer and will end up in the middle of the pack, but she doesn't have the athletic resume or the personality to go far.

Denise Richards (+500) - The oddsmakers like Richards, but I don't. I don't trust her stability. She has been living her life and her problems out publicly and on reality television. That drives me nuts, and for that reason alone I can't back her. Besides, I just don't think she'll be very good.

The Favorites

Shawn Johnson (+150) - You'll remember this 17 year old gymnast from the four medals she won at the Beijing Olympics. She's only 17, but she obviously has the talent, flexibility and discipline to shine in this format. Her partner, Mark Ballas, previously won the show in Season 6 with Kristi Yamaguchi as his partner, so she is in good hands.

Gilles Marini (+200) - Marini is the kind of guy you like to hate - a model and actor who women swoon over. He was in the "Sex and the City" movie, apparently. He seems like an athletic enough guy, and more importantly he'll get lots of votes from the women who watch the show. His partner is Cheryl Burke, a two-time winner.

Lil' Kim (+300) - The odds show that the public have more faith in this one than I do. She can obviously dance and move, but I'm not convinced that her skills will translate well to the world of ballroom dancing, or that she'll be motivated enough to do what needs to be done to win.

Chuck Wicks (+500) - I had never heard of this country singer until today. He'll be tough, though. The ladies will like him. More importantly, his partner - Julianne Hough - has won the show twice before. She is also Wicks' girlfriend, so chemistry between the partners is assured.

Live Longshots

David Allan Grier (+1000) - Grier has been on an impressive number of quickly cancelled shows since his run on "In Living Color". He's not getting much respect here, but he's definitely worth a look. Beyond being a comedian, Grier is also a classically trained Broadway singer and dancer. That means that he will easily adapt to what he has to do. He also has the personality to connect with voters.

Ty Murray (+800) - This cowboy is appearing along with his wife, the singer Jewel. I grew up watching a lot of rodeo, and I have never seen anyone better than Murray. He's a nine-time world champion, and no one in the sport has been tougher, more athletic, or more determined. I may be totally out to lunch, but I think he's worth a look here. He's not the kind of guy who would sign up if he wasn't committed, and he's so intensely competitive that he's going to give it his all.