A - Aqib Talib. The NFL has another criminal. By now the league has so many of them that it's impossible to keep track. Second year Buccaneer Talib, a cornerback out of Kansas, faces pretty typical charges for an NFLer - simple battery and resisting arrest. He apparently didn't want to pay a $50 cab fare, so he decided to hit the cabbie a few times. Assaulting cabbies is the latest fad for pro athletes - Chicago Blackhawks forward Patrick Kane is facing charges in Buffalo for doing the same thing.

B - Big Ben. Stop me if you have heard this one before - a player runs into his own star quarterback and causes an injury. It doesn't look like it will be nearly as serious for Ben Roethlisberger as it was for Tom Brady, but he still has to overcome an Achilles' injury suffered when he was stepped on by O-lineman Max Starks on Thursday. He was down on the turf for a long time, and had to be carried off the field, but he should be fine soon. In the meantime, Charlie Batch started Saturday's preseason contest against Washington. He was terrible, so Big Ben can't heal fast enough.

C - Cardinals. St. Louis decided to take a gamble on John Smoltz. Who knows how it will turn out in the long term, but it was initially well worth the risk. Smoltz made his return to the National League on Sunday, and looked a lot like the Smoltz of old. He was brilliant in five innings, striking out nine, including seven straight hitters, and allowing just three hits and no runs. If he'd pitched half as well as that in Boston he'd never have had to leave.

D - Deja vu. Here's a shocking headline - Brandon Marshall is unhappy. He's still upset that Denver won't give him a fat new contract or trade him, and now he's mad at the team because apparently they wouldn't throw him a parade or give him a medal for getting acquitted of battery charges. Why does it seem to be virtually genetically impossible for a guy to be a spectacular receiver and not be a spectacular moron at the same time?

E - Ego. When I say ego, you know exactly which aging quarterback I am talking about, don't you? The world's greatest diva has ended his third retirement and joined Minnesota less than a month after saying that he wouldn't. Brett Favre immediately became the starter, and the Vikes' other two potential starters immediately became disgruntled. Tarvaris Jackson showed his frustration by wildly outplaying Favre in Friday's preseason battle.

F - Florida. In the opinion of AP voters, no team has ever looked more dominant heading into a college football season that the Gators do this year. They not only topped the preseason college football poll, but they did it by the widest margin ever. They earned 58 of 60 first place votes to fall just short of unanimity. Texas got the other two first place votes to secure the second spot in the poll, with Oklahoma and USC not far behind.

G - Giambi, Jason. The Colorado Rockies figure they need a veteran bat to maintain their improbable run to a Wild Card berth in the National League, and they have tabbed Giambi as their guy. That's an excellent move. Or at least it would be if it was 2003 and the league was still not testing for steroids. Giambi hit just .193 for Oakland this year before being cut earlier this month. He'll spend some time in Triple A before joining the Rockies when rosters expand next week.
 
H - Halladay, Roy. I don't know about you, but Doc looks to me like a guy who really wishes he had have been traded to a contender. Halladay was beat up on Wednesday, allowing four runs in just five innings. The loss drops Halladay to just 2-4 since July 24 - the game that seemed all but certain to be his last in Toronto colors. So not only did Toronto GM J.P. Ricciardi not manage to extract any value from the ace he is going to lose for nothing next year, but now that ace isn't pitching like an ace. That's one of about a million reasons that Ricciardi should be fired.

I - Idiot. Plaxico Burress is a real gem. He'll have lots and lots of time to himself to think about what a genius he is. Burress has plead guilty to criminal possession of a weapon and will spend two years in jail followed by two years of supervised release. That will obviously strike a blow - likely a fatal one - to his career, but all he has to think about is how lucky he is that he only shot himself. It's a tremendous waste of talent, but it's impossible to feel bad for the guy.

J - Jason Williams. White Chocolate is back. After a one year pseudo-retirement, Williams is returning to the NBA, signing a one-year deal with Orlando. Williams signed to play with the Clippers last year, but backed out of the deal because he wanted to spend time with his family after his wife struggled with a difficult pregnancy. Now Williams says that he feels rejuvenated, and he could prove to be a useful backup for Jameer Nelson.

K - Kyle Busch. After the pace at with which Busch was winning early this season and all of last season it seemed as if he had forgotten how to drive - he hadn't won in 13 straight Sprint Cup races He changed all that Saturday when he outsprinted Mark Martin to win at Bristol. Despite now being tied with Martin for season wins with four, Busch is in real danger of not making the Chase - he sits in 13h in the standings with two races left, and only 12 make the Chase field.

L - Lee, Cliff. The more Lee pitches in the National League, the smarter the Phillies look for picking him up. He was truly dominant against Arizona on Wednesday, striking out 11 without a walk in a two-hit, one-run complete game. Lee now moves to 4-0 since the trade, with a chintzy 0.82 ERA. Lee is obviously in a zen-like zone, but it will be interesting to see how he can hold up down the stretch once teams have seen more of him.

M - Man U. Manchester United has struggled to start the season now that they have sold Cristiano Ronaldo. On Wednesday they lost a game that had no right to be close when they fell 1-0 to Burnley, a team that had been newly elevated to the Premiership. They bounced back in grand style and showed that they can't be counted out on Saturday, though, when they absolutely crushed Wigan, 5-0. Most impressively, Man U failed to score for the first 56 minutes, so they tallied their very un-soccer-like goal total in just more than half an hour.

N - Nate Robinson. Robinson learned a hard lesson this week - you have to have a driver's license to drive regardless of how laughably tiny you are. Robinson was pulled over for having his windows too tinted, and it was then discovered he had a suspended license. He'll face a later court date. Robinson is a free agent right now, so I'm not sure that getting arrested was the smartest way he could have strengthened his bargaining position.

O - Oops. I'm no architect, but I think there are a few key things I would make sure of if I was designing a football stadium. Are there seats? Washrooms? A field? Nothing hanging in the way of the ball? Jerry Jones' architect only thought of the first three. It was discovered in the new stadium's debut game that the $40 million HD screen that hangs over the field was hung too low, and that punters could easily hit it. After the competition committee stops laughing at Jones they will certainly be looking for a solution.

P - Pudge. The Rangers looked to a familiar face to add a veteran presence as they struggle to win a Wild Card berth - Ivan Rodriguez. Pudge has had the best days of his career in a Rangers' uniform, and now he's likely back to finish off that career. He won't play much behind Jarrod Saltalamacchia, but he's a solid veteran presence for the team, he'll keep the fans excited, and he's a nice insurance policy if Saltalamacchia were injured.

Q - Quentin Castille. The Bo Pelini era has hit a road bump at Nebraska. The coach has had to dismiss Castille, a junior running back, for undisclosed rules violations. Castille had only 467 yards rushing last year, but 125 of those yards came in the Gator Bowl against Clemson, so hopes were high for him this year. The dismissal doesn't leave Nebraska with a lot of depth at the position - the second choice on the depth chart is likely to be a true freshman.

R - Ryan Perrilloux. Some guys suffer a humiliating setback, learn from it, and become better people. Ryan Perrilloux is not one of those guys. Already stuck in the wastelands of football at Jacksonville State instead of at the helm at LSU where he should be, Perrilloux has now managed to get himself suspended for the opening game against Georgia Tech. It's not known what Perrilloux did to earn the suspension, but with him you can guarantee it was something stupid.

S - Strasburg, Stephen. The Washington Nationals managed not to screw this up, though they cut it pretty close. Just before the deadline when they had to sign him or lose him, the Nats inked the pitching phenom to a four-year contract worth $15.1 million. That contract was, by a wide margin, a record for a draft pick, but it was far less than agent Scott Boras was hoping he would get. Sadly, it doesn't look like the Nationals intend to bring Strasburg up in September so we can catch a glimpse of him.

T - Tight ends. If you are a tight end you don't want to be at Texas right now. The Longhorns have now lost three tight ends for the year with injuries in less than a month since returning to practice. Sophomore Ian Harris went down with a neck injury this week, joining Blaine Irby and his dislocated kneecap and D.J. Grant and his bad knee on the sidelines. The saving grace for Texas is that Colt McCoy doesn't often look for his tight end - Irby was the leader at the position last year with just 10 catches.

U - Ugly. Detroit fans had to know that they had to be patient with rookie QB Matthew Stafford, but they were almost certainly hoping for more than they saw against Cleveland this week. Stafford was just 5-for-13 for 34 yards and an interception, and that was against an underwhelming Cleveland defense. That's a 2.6 yards per attempt average - far from an adequate amount for anyone, even a raw rookie.

V - Vacated. Remember that 38-win season from Memphis that almost wound up in a national championship? Pretend it never happened. The school has had to vacate all 38 wins because of issues surrounding Derrick Rose. This is yet another case of ridiculously stupid punishments from the NCAA. They have punished the school while the two people likely responsible for the problems - John Calipari and Rose - are sitting pretty out of the way of any harm other than a bit of embarrassment.

W - WPS. New Jersey Sky Blue FC beat the Los Angeles Sol in Carson, California on Saturday to win the Women's Professional Soccer championship. That leads me to ask a question, and I'm sure I'm not the only one who has to ask it - what the heck is the WPS? Apparently the team has been going since March, but that's news to me. New Jersey only just squeaked into the playoffs, and they went through three coaches this year, so they were far from a dominant power.

X - eXclamation point. Pedro moved to 2-0 in his return, but not without some spectacular help from second baseman Eric Bruntlett. Bruntlett clinched the win in the ninth with only the 15th unassisted triple play in league history, and only the second to end a game. With runners on first and second, Bruntlett caught a blistering line drive, tagged his base for the second out, and then tagged out the runner from first for the final out. It happened so fast that it took a while to realize just what had happened.

Y - Yankees. The Yanks all but clinched the AL East crown this weekend by winning two of three in a truly crazy series with the Red Sox. They won the first game 20-11 on the strength of seven RBI from Hideki Matsui, dropped the second 14-1 when Kevin Youkilis had six RBI, and then won the final game, 8-4. Matsui was again the hero in the final game, hitting two home runs. It was hardly a defensive battle, but the Yankees have enough bats that they rarely have to worry about that.

Z - Zoom. Usain Bolt is fast. Really, really, really fast. Bolt not only won his second gold medal of the world championships in Berlin this week in the 200 meters, but he did it by again crushing a world record. As he did in the 100m he knocked 0.11 seconds off his previous world record - an eternity in sprint terms. This one was perhaps even more impressive than the 100m - when he set the record initially at the Olympics, he broke Michael Johnson's mark - a record that was long thought to be almost unbeatable.