A – Andre Agassi. In an attempt to raise money for charity, Andre Agassi auctioned off a porcelain plate. When that didn’t work he included a nude picture of his wife, former tennis player Steffi Graf. Agassi promised to flash a nude picture of Graf from his cell phone to the winning bidder if the price exceeded $4,000. If that is not creepy enough, the winning bid went to a 60-year old Taiwanese man, Franz Chen, who says that Graf, “has a pretty good figure.”

B – Boston Blazers Lap dance. In perhaps the greatest halftime show not featuring Janet Jackson, the Boston Blazers (a professional lacrosse team, who knew?) hosted halftime entertainment that involved scantily clad dancers competing to give a team mascot named Scorch, the best lap dance while rapper Flo Rida’s lap dance anthem “Low” blared throughout the TD Garden. Of course, no good deed goes unpunished as angry fans peppered team President and GM Doug Reffue with complaints. Reffue eventually issued an apology and some fans vowed to not return.

C – Corley, Taylor. Taylor Corley is a Mississippi State freshman cheerleader who opted to drop her pom poms and her clothes back in November and pose nude for Playboy. It was not a big deal at the time because nobody knew it was her; she used a pseudonym, Taylor Stone (very clever) in the magazine to apparently avoid attention or potential discipline from the school. Not sure what the big deal is here, football players opt to go the NFL draft all the time and Corley was just taking the next logical step in a cheerleader’s career path and turning professional in the pages of Playboy.

D- Dallas. They call Dallas, the host of Super Bowl XLV, the ‘Big D’. Well, apparently it’s not big enough. In addition to the sold-out hotels around Big D and all over North Texas, most of the top restaurants in town are also sold out from Thursday to Saturday during Super Bowl week. Celebrity chef spots like Sambuca and Abacus are booked for the week. However, maybe some of those reservations were made by New England fans, so there could be hope.

E – Exiting Drunk. News Flash: according to a recent study at the University of Minnesota, eight percent of fans attending sporting events leave the games legally drunk. Another 40 percent of fans leaving games were found to have drank alcohol before or during the game, but were not legally drunk on the way out. The eight-percent may seem shockingly low, but it’s a considerable amount of humans when you take account the 60,000-100,000 seat venues.

F – Favre, Brandi. Brett Favre’s youngest sibling and only sister, Brandi Favre, 34, was arrested in a raid of a meth lab in Diamondhead, Mississippi, about 30 minutes away from where Brett, Brandi and their other two siblings grew up in Gulfport, Mississippi. Brandi was charged with possession of two or more ingredients used to manufacture methamphetamine. She was released after posting a $40,000 bond and she faces prison time and fines up to $1 million or about the same her brother made each Sunday this past fall and winter.

H – Holtzman, Bob. Looks like ESPN reporter Bob Holtzman was duped into issuing a fake report on behalf of the Steelers. Holtzman reported about six hours before kickoff that two Steelers told him they would run a trick play that would involve someone throwing the ball who normally doesn’t throw the ball. Of course Holtzman took the bait while the Steelers were probably trying to give the Ravens something else to think about it. No trick play was run even though the Steelers spent nearly an entire quarter of the game trailing by two touchdowns.

I – In Debt. The fledgling United Football League appears to be going under already after only two seasons. Mark Cuban is suing the league for not paying him back on a $5 million loan Cuban floated for the league. Two deadlines have come and gone without a word from the UFL on the principle or the interest from the loan. Looks like you can score another victory for the NFL.

J – Jim Cornelison. After a rousing ‘National Anthem’ at Soldier Field on Sunday before the Bear’s win over Seattle, Jim Cornelison is a city-wide sensation in Chicago. A YouTube clip of his goosebump-enducing anthem received over 1 million views and now the Bears are bringing him back to sing the ‘Star Spangled Banner’ before the NFC Championship Game this Sunday. It seemed like the logical choice, but to do that the Bears had to bump American Idol Season 9 winner Lee DeWyze. Winning American Idol doesn’t mean what it used to. The fans demanded Cornelison and that is who they’re getting. DeWyze instead will perform at halftime. A limited number of tickets for the NFC Championship went on sale on Monday and they sold out in less than a minute and we are left to assume it is because of Cornelison.

K – Karma. After the Cleveland Cavaliers stunk up the Staples Center during a 112-57 blowout loss to the Lakers, former Cavalier LeBron James tweeted the following, “Karma is a bitch. Gets you every time. It is not good to wish bad on anybody. God sees everything!” This was obviously in the direction of his former team and owner Daniel Gilbert. James of all people should be the one person on earth who hopes there is no such thing as Karma.

L – Logan Platz. That jiggly Chicago Bears fan who was seen on TV Sunday numerous times wearing nothing but orange and blue overalls to the Bears NFC Divisional Round game and appearing to be on the verge of hypothermia has been identified as ninth-grader Logan Platz. He has achieved a certain amount of fame around the Windy City for his outfit that exposed the better part of his jelly-filled torso. It caught the attention of the FOX cameras a few times and Platz says he has even better seats for the NFC Championship Game, front row south end zone. Looks like Platz and his overalls might be fixtures on television as long as the Bears keep playing.

M – Maroney, Laurence. From draft bust to drug bust, former New England Patriots first-round pick Laurence Maroney was arrested for possessing a firearm while under the influence of drugs this week in his native St. Louis. Thanks to the arrest we have an early nominee for mug shot of the year. For reasons which are still unclear to just about everybody Maroney was wearing his dreadlocks in three separate pony tails. In his mugshot Maroney looked Pippy Long Stocking if Pippy Long Stocking was a black male. So I guess it was more like Scottie Pippen Longstocking.

N – Nosebleed. New York Jets linebacker Bart Scott may have put it best when analyzing the Patriots defense after the Jets’ stunning 28-21 win as 9.5-point underdogs at New England. Scott yelled, “Disrespect us, talk crap about the defense like we’re not the third best in the league. All we hear is about their defense. They can’t stop a nosebleed. Twenty-fifth in the league.”

O – Ohio State. A man from Columbus, Ohio, constructed a Lego replica of Ohio State’s famed horseshoe-shaped football stadium, and in the process proved that there is not much to do in Columbus after football season. Paul Janssen used over 1 million Lego’s to build the model, which has a capacity of 6,000 Lego people compared to the 100,000-plus real people the real stadium holds. Janssen says it took over 1,000 hours of work spread across two years to complete it. No word on if he plans on using it to barter for tattoos.

P – Probation Wager. Just because Lawrence Taylor no longer plays in the NFL does not mean you have to stop wagering on him. Taylor was arrested last May and later charged with third-degree rape and endangering the welfare of a child. He was put on probation, and now thanks to the people at Bodog, you can wager if Taylor will violate that six-year probation. The ‘Yes’ wager on Bodog has a moneyline of +300.

Q – Quarterback Girlfriends. If you want to reach the Final Four of the NFL, just date a hot actress. Of the four remaining quarterbacks in the NFL Conference Championships, all the team’s starting quarterbacks are dating or have dated a famous actress. Aaron Rodgers is currently dating Jessica Szohr (Gossip Girl), Jay Cutler is dating Kristin Cavallari (The Hills), while Mark Sanchez previously dated Jamie Lynn Sigler (Sopranos) and Ben Roethlisberger previously dated Melissa Peregrym (Heroes), and of course Natalie Gulbis of the LPGA.

R – Retirement. Not even a guaranteed $12 million could entice veteran pitcher Gils Meche to put on a Kansas City Royals jersey one more time and not retire. Meche is leaving that much money on his table, which represents the final year of the five-year $55 million contract Kansas City inexplicably signed the mediocre pitcher to in 2006. It was a shocking deal at the time considering Meche is awful and we are left shocked once again that Meche did not trot himself out there to get shelled again this year in exchange for one last big payday.

S – Seahawks Appreciation Day. A Tacoma, Washington, middle school decided to have a Seahawks Appreciation Day leading up to their home-town team’s game against the Bears last week. A seventh grader named Grendon Bailie decided to toss the proverbial turd in the punchbowl at the event at school by wearing a Franco Harris Pittsburgh Steelers jersey. Students were told they could either wear their regular uniform or Seattle Seahawk colors. Bailie did neither and he was given the option of changing. He refused and his father, also a diehard Steelers fan, backed him up and took him out of school. This made the younger Bailie an instant celebrity around the Steel City. His facebook friend count quadrupled, and one of those friends was Steelers linebacker LaMarr Woodley who promised to send him an autographed picture.

T – Tom Cable. Going 8-8 doesn’t mean what it used to. A week after being canned by the Oakland Raiders despite helping the team post its best record in a decade, former Raiders Coach Tom Cable has fallen to the ranks of an offensive line coach. The Seattle Seahawks hired the former head coach this week.
 
U – Undefeated. And then there were three. After Syracuse’s loss at Pitt on Monday there remain only three unbeaten teams in college basketball, Ohio State (18-0), Kansas (18-0) and believe it or not, San Diego State (19-0). 

V – Vikings. Former San Francisco 49ers Head Coach Mike Singletary looks to be a long way from returning to the ranks of head coach in the NFL. This week he took a job as a linebackers coach with the Minnesota Vikings, where he will work under newly hired Leslie Frazier, who was a former teammate of his in Chicago.

W – Walters, Billy. Famous gambler Billy Walters will go mainstream this week when he appears on “60 Minutes.” Walters has made millions of dollars in gambling inside and outside of Las Vegas, but he has remained reclusive, for the most part. He was known to be able to move point spreads with ease and was under federal investigation a number of times for winning huge amounts on bets that were considered strange and unusual. This past Super Bowl Walters reportedly won $3.5 million.

X – Xavier. The Xavier Musketeers probably could not wait to get Atlantic 10 Conference basketball started. After a mediocre 8-5 start to the season Xavier opened A-10 play with three consecutive wins, including a 72-45 thumping of Rhode Island on the road as two-point underdogs. Bettors beware though Xavier is only 4-10-1 ATS.

Y – Yankees. Usually when the New York Yankees start throwing money around in the offseason, it is in the tens or hundreds of millions of dollar. Pitchers Phil Hughes, Joba Chamberlain and Boone Logan signed one-year deals this week and all three have to feel a little slighted. Hughes is slated to earn $2.7 million this year while Chamberlain will receive $1.4 million and Logan $1.2 million.

Z – Zero.  That is the amount of wins the Centenary Gentlemen have through 19 games. The team does get the award for best nickname in the country, but also worst team. The Gentlemen are the only winless team in Division I basketball. Offensively Centenary ranks 300th or worse in all categories and their defense is not much better, that is ranked 333rd out of 346. The team has even lost two games to Division II Arkansas-Monticello. The Gentlemen should have got the hint that things were bad this season when they lost their opener to Memphis by 64 points.